MW GateWorld interview

GateWorld: This is David Read for GateWorld.net talking with Michael Welch. How are you doing, Michael?

Michael Welch: Hey! Good, man. How are you doing?

GW: I'm not too bad. Terrific to have you with us.

MW: Oh, yeah! Thank you very much!

GW: You were voted very high in the GateWorld Forum for folks who wanted to hear from you, so this really is a pleasure.

MW: Yeah, I heard about that -- and I heard that I was actually number two, which raises the question: Who beat me? Who was number one?

GW: Number one was Tom McBeath: Maybourne.

MW: OK, cool. So that's fine -- I can live with that.

GW: Yes. Yeah, he's been in several shows, but it's pretty incredible. You've only been in one thus far and you have really struck a chord with the Stargate fan community.

MW: You know what? It's unbelievable because I was lucky enough to get Joan of Arcadia after Stargate, and I've got to tell you: between that one episode of Stargate, and then I've done 23 episodes of Joan of Arcadia, I've probably gotten just as much recognition from Stargate. It's just been unbelievable. The fans are incredible.

GW: They really are, yes. What was it like stepping into the shoes of an American icon like Jack O'Neill?

Transformed into a boy, O'Neill realizes convincing his team who he is won't be easy.

MW: Well, you know, Stargate fans aren't gonna want to hear this, but unfortunately, I did not know how big of an icon he was. I didn't realize how huge Stargate really was. So that put a lot less pressure on me. You know what I mean? I didn't realize he was like the Michael Jordan of sci-fi. (Laughter) So that really helped out. So, to answer your question, I wouldn't know because at the time I didn't know.

GW: So you just sort of went in there and it was like you unearthed this huge thing.

MW: Yeah, I kind of treated it like another job. I mean, it was a cool part. I loved the part. But I had no clue what would come out of it. And I'm actually really grateful. I didn't realize the fan base was so hardcore.

GW: Yeah, they really are. Most sci-fi fans remember you as Artim in "Star Trek: Insurrection." Did that performance reshape your career in any way?

MW: Oh yeah, it did, because that was my first movie. Before that I did a lot of guest spots and things like that, but that was my first film. Now, put yourself in my shoes. I mean, I was like 11 years old at that time. And a Star Trek film as your first film? Absolutely, it reshaped my career. It opened a lot of doors for me, especially in the sci-fi world.

GW: How did you get the role of Young Jack?

MW: It was just a regular audition process, pretty much. I went in and they shoot Stargate in Vancouver, Canada, so they put me on tape and sent the tape to all the people, and I got it. And like I said before, I hadn't seen any Stargate episodes before getting the job, so I just kind of played the part as I interpreted it, which was kind of this dry, sarcastic, very in-charge and in control of himself kind of guy. I just played it like it was written. It turned out to be very similar to Richard Dean Anderson. Of course, I didn't realize just how far Richard Dean Anderson goes until I actually saw the tapes.

GW: So at the audition process you had not studied up on Richard Dean Anderson yet.

MW: No, and they knew that. So they kind of put a lot of trust in me that I could get down his mannerisms, his attitude and the way he carried himself and all that stuff, just by watching some tapes when I got up there. I guess I did. I don't know. Like you said before, the response has just been unbelievable.

GW: What episodes were you given to study?

MW: I was given, I believe, "Revelations," I think, to kind of give me a history of the Asgard, because the Asgard was a major part of "Fragile Balance," which was the episode that I was in. They wanted me to kind of understand who the Asgard were. And then other than that, there were two episodes. There were three episodes altogether and I don't remember what they were.

But those few episodes, I rewound them a hundred times, and I was up all night studying this guy. Because, I've got to tell you, that was very challenging. Richard Dean Anderson -- he is so original. I don't think there's ever been an actor quite like him before. So it was really challenging, but a lot of fun.

GW: What did you do to get him down?

O'Neill's clone faces the truth: he's nothing but a duplicate.

MW: I don't know. That's kind of been one of the things that I've always been able to do. In fact, my impressions when I was a little kid -- that's kind of what got me into acting. This was a little different than an impression. This was like a portrayal of a character, had to be a little bit more than an impression. That's just kind of something that I've always been able to do, just kind of watch and listen to an accent, and then the next day be able to do the accent. So, I don't know, I just really studied him.

GW: So you were just able to pick up on the fine details and it got you where you needed to go.

MW: Yeah, yeah, pretty much. And then also Peter DeLuise, who was the director of that particular episode -- he really helped me out, because he's been working on the show for years. So he really helped me out to really get specific things down.

GW: So he took you aside and said, "OK, this is what he looks like when he's angry," or like that.

MW: Yeah, in a way. And he broke it down kind of line-to-line, moment-to-moment. And it was like, "OK, Richard would do it this way, so you do it that way, too." It was fun.

GW: Did you find it constricting on your acting that you were trying to mimic Richard but still were trying to bring your performance into it?

MW: You know, it's funny. I actually found it more freeing that way.

GW: Really?

MW: Yeah, and I can't really explain why. I guess because you study the character and you do all those things. But when it comes down to it, it's still my performance, it's still my interpretation. I'm not going to, you know, be a clone -- well, I was a clone of Richard Dean Anderson! I don't know.

It was more freeing, mainly because he's so free anyway. He just is in his performance. So to mimic someone doing a free performance, well, that's pretty freeing within itself. You know what I mean?

GW: OK, yeah, I get you.

MW: Yeah.

GW: Were you wearing contacts to make your eyes darker, like Rick's?

MW: Yeah, my eyes are light blue. And that's not going to work playing Richard Dean Anderson, so they had to put some contacts in me.

GW: What else was done to alter your appearance?

Welch remains a sport and allows the make-up artists to make him truly teenager-y.

MW: Well, my hair was cut, which I was fine about. I like my hair shorter, actually. And they spiked it, I guess. And then, actually -- this had nothing to do with making me look like Richard -- but I had some acne going up there that week. And Peter DeLuise, being the sick genius that he is, was like, "No, let's keep it! It's great, because it emphasizes the fact that he's a teenager." And it did, and he's right. I had no problem with that.

So not only did he keep it, he had make-up emphasize it. If you watch there's big, red marks on my face, which were there anyway. But he just kind of added to them. It was really funny. And that really has nothing to do with making me look more like him, but, you know.

GW: Well, it emphasizes your age verses this 50-year-old man.

MW: Yeah, and it worked. That's kind of one of the things you have to do an an actor is kind of put your own ego aside and do what's right for the role. I've always been willing to do that. I really don't care what I look like as long as it fits with the thing I'm working on.

GW: So even if that makes you look a little strange, it's for the team.

MW: Yeah, exactly. I don't know, a great example of that is Kathy Bates in "About Schmidt." She was able to just kind of put her own ego aside and go full-frontal on camera. It was great. It was good for her. Robert DeNiro has gained and lost weight a million times. I could go on. I'm not comparing myself to any of these people -- quite yet. We'll see in the future! No, I really don't care, as long as ... well, you get the point.

GW: How are things with Joan of Arcadia?

MW: Oh, man. It's the best job ever. I really do think that I'm probably the luckiest 16-year-old in Hollywood. I don't think there's a better 16-year-old part on television. I'm absolutely loving it. The cast is just awesome. They're great.

GW: For folks who have not seen the show, tell us about your role.

MW: Well, I play Luke Girardi, who's Joan's younger brother. And I am a science genius on the show. I kind of represent -- because it is kind of a metaphysical show -- I kind of represent the physics aspect of that because the creator, Barbara Hall, believes that physics and metaphysics are all one. There's no difference; they intertwine. I'm there to represent that part of it. And also it adds to the family dynamic, which is always a good thing. It's a fun part, it really is. I don't feel that I'm playing it like a nerd. I've never liked to play stereotypes. I did my own thing with it and they liked what I did.

GW: So Luke has a voice that's not only this science geek, but he's also got heart and soul.

Welch, with Arcadia father Will (Joe Mantegna), and sister Joan (Amber Tamblyn).

MW: Yeah, he is a three-dimensional character. He's not the comic relief, younger brother science geek who uses big words. I mean, I do use big words on the show and I am a science geek, but I'm saying there's more to it than that. If you've seen the first season, he's gone through quite a roller coaster this year.

GW: So you're on hiatus for Season Two.

MW: Yes, that's right.

GW: And when does that start?

MW: Season Two starts shooting up -- I'm sorry, let me say that again! Season Two starts shooting in July. I think July 15 is when we start. And then it's going to start airing, I believe, in September. But don't quote me on that.

GW: Well, we'll definitely be looking for it.

MW: OK, thank you!

GW: What network is it airing on?

MW: It's on CBS, Friday nights.

GW: OK. Have you been pleased with the ratings from Season One?

MW: Oh, absolutely. I mean, Friday night, Top 30 show, you can't ask for more than that. And the fact that it's on Friday night is a good thing and a bad thing. It's a bad thing because it's the least-watched night on television. But it's a good thing because out of the people watching, we're getting a big majority of those people -- because a lot of times it's the amount of time of people watching television and the amount of people watching your show versus the actual numbers. I don't need to get into that. Yes, I'm very pleased with them.

GW: Well, good. Is it true Stargate's production timing helped you win the role?

MW: You know, maybe. I'm not sure, because the episode aired at the very end of what's called pilot season. Now let me explain this to every non-actor listening right now. Basically, what a pilot is that they shoot -- the first episode of every series is a pilot, and then based on the strength of that pilot, the network decides if they want to turn it into a series. If you've seen "Pulp Fiction," Samuel L. Jackson explains it much more eloquently than I do.

So, basically, what happened is that this was at the tail-end of pilot season, so a lot of, I guess, most really good actors already got pilots, most young actors, so there weren't that many left and I didn't get anything at that point. I was up for a couple pilots, but the role of Stargate -- again, I just can't say this enough, it was such a cool role, I loved it so much that I just had to take it and risk it. And it turned out to be a good thing because, first of all, with Stargate, it's been one of the coolest experiences ever. And then right after that I was lucky enough to get Joan of Arcadia. So it worked out really well.

Welch as Luke Girardi on Joan of Arcadia.

GW: Do you think that if you hadn't taken the Stargate role you would've missed Joan of Arcadia?

MW: You know, it's possible. I don't know. Maybe I would've gotten another pilot and then I wouldn't have gotten Stargate or Joan of Arcadia, which have been the two greatest roles ever for me. So it's really amazing how things work out, and I just kind of go with the moment and if I get a job, take it, and not mess around with any of that stuff. And then whatever happens, happens. This worked out better than I could've ever planned.

GW: Tell us about your experiences on set in Vancouver.

MW: It was really cool, because they've all been working together for like seven years now. It's been a while. So it was such a comfortable set to work on. It felt like I was visiting really cool cousins. You know what I mean? They were all so great. A particular experience: I loved the moment -- if you've seen the episode -- I loved the moment when I'm floating in the space ship. They put the harness on me and they put a bunch of strings attached to me, and I love that kind of stuff. I'm still a 16-year-old kid. It was cool. I was floating in a space ship. It was great. Just all that kind of stuff. It was a lot of fun.

GW: One of the things I couldn't understand was that if you were supposed to be immobile from the Asgard beam, or whatever it is, how were you able to move you arm to fire the zat gun?

MW: Oh, boy! Well, because I don't think I was immobile. I think that I was, like, in a little forcefield. So being in the forcefield -- it's like you're in a cage. You can't get out of the cage, but you can move within the cage. So that's how I looked at it. I mean, you can take that up with one of the producers to give you a more Stargate-esque answer, but that's how I see it.

GW: Cool. How was it working with Michael [Shanks], Amanda [Tapping], and Christopher [Judge]?

MW: Oh, they were awesome. I mean, Christopher, he was a trouble maker. He gave me a hard time. It was all out of fun, I mean I had a great time with him. As an example, at the end of one day, he yelled, "That's a wrap on Cory Feldman!" referring to me. Just stuff like that. Like I said, it was such a fun set to work on. And Amanda -- she's such a sweet person, and she has such an amazing work ethic. Michael's a great guy. They were all really great -- not just those three, but every single one of them was just really amazing. Without one exception, literally. And, yeah, I cannot say enough about the experience. It was just so much fun.

GW: They're a very fine-tuned machine after seven years.

MW: Oh yeah, they had it down. I mean, I even said at one point -- and this was like the first day that we were shooting. They did all the coverage on everybody else and they were going to do all the -- oh, no, I'm sorry, wait a minute. Let me say that again. They did the coverage on me, then they were about to do the coverage on Michael and Christopher, and then I said to them, "Alright, guys, make sure you don't steal the scenes from me." And they were like, "After seven years we're giving scenes away!" So, yeah, they've got it down.

GW: What did you think of the sets?

MW: Oh, it was great! Sci-fi sets are the coolest because there's all that -- it's basically a bunch of cool toys to play with. You can't really play with them because they're props. But it was amazing. Just the ships and the alien stuff. I don't know. It was cool! It was basically like when I was eight and I used my imagination about all that kind of stuff ... or actually now, and I still do that.

GW: Except it's actually there now.

MW: Yeah, it was actually there, but on a sound stage. It's trippy, man. It's really weird, but it was fun. It was cool.

GW: How do you feel about the possibility of Young Jack returning?

MW: Well, it definitely is a possibility. I mean, of course there's Joan of Arcadia now and that kind of conflicts with it. But I don't know. I mean how they work at Stargate is that they just kind of leave it up in the air and then bring people back if it's convenient to the storyline, or whenever. But it's definitely a possibility. There's no guarantees but that's mainly because of the Joan of Arcadia schedule. I don't know if they'll be able to work that out. But if they are I'd love to come back.

GW: What would you like to see happen to the character if you did come back?

While on the run, the cloned Jack O'Neill hides in his water hole.

MW: A lot of space stuff. I don't care what. I'd maybe like to fly a ship and blow stuff up, possibly. You know, I mean, because this would be the perfect opportunity to do that stuff. I'm not complaining about "Fragile Balance" -- it was one of the best experiences ever. But a lot of it was just like fishing scenes, going to a liquor store. This is a sci-fi show. I want to be in space! I want to be fighting aliens. I want to be doing stuff like that. And again, I'm not picky. I'll do whatever they tell me to do. If they want to put acne on me I'm going to go ahead and let 'em! That's kind of what I'd like to do. Some kind of fight. I don't know. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.

GW: Michael Greenburg proposed a story where you came back with Colonel Maybourne who is basically Jack's nemesis but partner in crime. He didn't explain the story too much except that the title was "You Ain't Jack," and didn't go into it much. But we all thought it was a pretty cool story and wished it would be executed.

MW: Yeah, that'd be cool. I think, based on the end of "Fragile Balance," which was basically my character saying, "Well, from here on out we're not the same person anymore" -- so, yeah, that would definitely make sense. But, yeah, that'd be fun. I'll come back and mop the floor if they want me to. I just love doing it. Yeah, I'm really happy with anything. But that sounds really cool.

GW: Have you thought of attending any Stargate conventions?

MW: Yeah, actually I am attending, not necessarily Stargate, but a sci-fi convention, which is going to be mostly because of Stargate, in July -- I think 9th, 10th, and 11th in Maryland, called Shore Leave. I'm going to go and do that, and yeah! I mean, why not? It's right by Washington D.C. and I've never been there before. So basically I'm ultimately getting paid to go to Washington. You can't pass that up. And I always thought it'd be fun to go to a sci-fi convention, watch a bunch of Klingons walking around, all of that kind of stuff.

So, yeah! And beyond that, no immediate plans right now. But yeah, I'd love to do more down the road.

GW: So is this your first sci-fi convention?

MW: Yeah, this'll be my first one.

GW: Well, you'll also be appearing with Teryl Rothery, who is Dr. Fraiser on Stargate.

MW: Oh, that's right. Yeah.

GW: So be sure to tell her "Hello" for all of us.

MW: Oh, yeah, I definitely will. Hey! They'll probably sit us next to each other to plan it out that way.

GW: She's a character. You will have a great time with her on stage.

MW: Oh, good, because I didn't really get to spend too much time with her, because we were only in one scene together. But yeah, that'll be a lot of fun.

GW: What's your advice to aspiring young actors?

MW: Oh, good question. That would be to not pay attention to the statistics of it.

Michael plays drums with his buddies in the studio.

GW: Really?

MW: Because people are constantly telling me the statistics of me making it, and giving me stories of young actors that didn't turn out well. Just don't listen to it! Because I'm going to tell you something: If you are talented and persistent and you work hard -- that's the most important thing, that you work hard -- and you're patient, and you enjoy the process, it's impossible not to be successful. It might take 10 years, as it has in the case of some of the greatest, most famous actors today. But just keep truckin'.

And enjoy the process, that's the most important thing. Because if you don't enjoy the process you're not going to enjoy the destination. And there is no destination anyway, so ... just one continuous process.

I'm going to be honest with you. I'm having just as much fun now as I did when I was 10 and barely doing anything. And I'm going to go even farther than that and say I'm having just as much fun now as I did when I was nine and I first started taking acting classes. Just have fun. It's fun; that's why I'm doing it. It's hard. It takes a lot of sacrifice, but it's a good time. I wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't a good time.

GW: You've been working with Kids For a Cause, I understand.

MW: Yes.

GW: Tell us about that.

MW: That's basically an organization in which young actors -- Hillary Duff is involved in the organization -- I think we have like a hundred by now. And basically what it is is that we go to foster homes and hospitals and basically just give kids that have been less fortunate up to this point a good day, give them presents or give them food or whatever they want -- play with them for the day. Because I'm so blessed it's just sick. It's just unbelievable.

I've gotta give something back. I don't even feel like I'm doing enough. I definitely want to do more down the road. It's a really great organization. If any young actors listen to this, I would highly recommend checking it out because it's really cool.

GW: What are your plans for the future, other than conventions and Kids With A Cause and Joan of Arcadia?

MW: Right, right. Well, my plan is Joan of Arcadia will go forever. But when that ends, you know, I don't know -- just as long as I keep working. I love to work. I love doing stuff. So maybe -- I'd love to do some plays, I'd love to break into movies if that's possible, maybe another series down the road. I don't know! No one really knows where their career is headed. No one is really in control of their career until you get to a certain point -- and that's like Tom Hanks level. Maybe I can be one of those cool independent actors that do 10 independents a year. That'd be cool. I don't care. It really doesn't matter.

And maybe some more conventions down the road. Definitely I'm going to finish school and do all that. Just kind of play it by ear, take it day by day. Right now I'm enjoying Joan of Arcadia and still enjoying the ride from Stargate, because that's still going on, you know, with stuff like this -- these kinds of interviews.

The O'Neill clone says adios to his original self, setting off on his own path.

GW: Is it true you've written a one-man show?

MW: (Laughter) Oh, man. I'm going to clear this up now. That was from a bio that my mom wrote a couple of years ago. I was writing a one-man show and maybe I'll continue it down the road, I don't know. But it's kind of on hold right now, the one-man-show project. But I was writing that, there is truth to that. But that's probably not going to happen at this point, because that was kind of written for a 15-year old to do, and if I started working on it again, by the time I'm done I'm not going to be 15 any more. And I'm not now. I'm 16. Yeah, I was writing a one-man show, but I got too busy with Joan of Arcadia and school, so I just stopped that.

GW: So it's on the back-burner.

MW: But yeah, it was OK, though. I don't regret doing that and spending all of my time doing that, because it was good for me for my writing, because I'm definitely interested in writing down the road, and directing, and all that stuff, too.

GW: Let's hope those doors open up for you.

MW: Yeah, definitely! Thanks!

GW: Well, Michael thanks for taking some time to answer the questions, and truly, best wishes for continued success on Joan of Arcadia!

MW: Oh, thank you man. I appreciate that. And, yeah, I just hope I was interesting for the past half an hour and didn't waste anyone's time!

Strangers on a Plane

A/N: This was my entry into the NEiAS Holiday Challenge. I can't believe it won as it's not exactly a traditional holiday story. I just want to thank everyone that voted for me and if you haven't already then check out the site, it's great.

Special thanks to Bean12 for the beta and Happy Holidays to everyone, I hope they were peaceful and joyful.

I don't own any of this even though I wrote 25 letters to Santa asking for it.

Strangers on a Plane

The flight was almost half over by the time he finally talked to her. She wasn’t asleep, but her dirty blond hair was falling over her face as she stared intently at her book. The earphones she wore cut her off from the world, but he could tell that she wasn’t really paying any attention to what she was doing. He’d been watching her for almost a half hour and she hadn’t turned the page once.

“You’re Grace Polk,” he said finally. “The author.”

“Huh?” She pulled out her I-pod, paused it and looked at her neighbor. The I-pod was pink. That was unexpected.

“You’re Grace Polk, the author,” he repeated.

“Not a question, right? If you already know who I am, why are you asking me?”

“Curiosity I guess. It’s not every day you get to sit next to someone famous, especially not in Economy.”

“Great. I’m Grace Polk. There, you met me. Now you have a fun story to tell all your friends.” She didn’t sound angry exactly, more irritated yet resigned. He guessed it couldn’t be easy getting recognized. She started to put her headphones back on, but he started to talk again.

“Sucks to be traveling on Christmas, right?”

“Doesn’t make much difference to me. I’m Jewish.” He wasn’t sure why she answered him. He certainly hadn’t expected it.

“Then why are you taking the 10pm flight to Boston on Christmas Eve? Why not wait 'til tomorrow? It’d be a lot less crowded, less saps like me trying to get home in time to see Christmas morning.”

“Would you want to stay in LA a moment longer than you had to?”

He laughed, she just smirked. “I guess not.” He pulled a book out of his bag.

“I guess this is fate, huh?” He held up his book for her to see. It was her first book. “I’ve read it like 5 times. It never gets old.”

He could tell she was kind of embarrassed, not used to attention. That wasn’t much of a surprise though. She shunned publicity and never gave interviews. Her publishers played up to the image, painting her as enigmatic and mysterious. She seemed more shy than anything to him.

“I just have one question?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Ask away. I might not answer.”

“This is semi-autobiographical, right?”

“I never said that.”

“I’ll take that as a yes?” He smiled. “Was there really a Greg? I mean did he… does he exist?”

“I don’t know anyone called Greg.”

“Fine. Was the character of Greg based on a real person?”

“Does it matter?”

“I guess not. I just always wondered. He just seemed so perfect. The rest of the characters are all so flawed, but he’s not. I mean, when his Mom and Dad forgot his 16th birthday? He just lets it go. I guess I just wanted to know if you really knew a guy that was that perfect?”

She didn’t answer. She did kind of half smile though, like there was a big grin trying to appear and she was fighting it. He took that as a yes.

“I should hate you for creating him. My wife read it and then went off on one to me about how thoughtless I was compared to this fictional 15 year old.” He laughed at the memory. “I never liked him much anyway. I like the sister. The schizophrenic one who thinks angels are talking to her.”

“Me too,” she murmured. She wasn’t talking to him, more to herself.

“Now she has to be real. Nobody could make up someone that nuts.”

“She’s married to my best friend.” She grinned. The smile lit up her face, and he saw for the first time just how pretty she really was, and how young. She couldn’t have been more than 30. “If you tell anyone that, I’ll sue you for slander. I told her I based the character on a cousin of mine.” She was still smiling, but somehow he didn’t doubt that she would carry out her threat.

“I’m sure no one would believe me if I did tell them.”

“Here.” She opened her backpack and pulled another book out of it. She handed it to him. “It’s the sequel. I got the first advanced copies from my publishers earlier today.”

“What… huh?”

“Lets just call it the spirit of Christmas,” She paused for a long time.

“You know, you’re the first person to guess that Kitty was based on a real person. Everyone always thinks that she’s the only completely fictional one, even the ones who went to high school with me and knew her. I guess I’m one of the few who knows how nuts she really is.”

He didn’t have an answer to that and a moment later she pulled her headphones on once again. The conversation was obviously over so he began to read the book she had given him. It was a continuation of Judy’s story, this time in college not high school. Kitty and Rob weren’t with her, but sure enough there was Greg, the perfect boyfriend, giving up his dream of MIT so he could stay with her. Of course Judy hated this and broke up with him for being a dependant wimp.

The writing was as good as the first book and he knew it would be just as big a hit. The characters were so real, and now he’d met Grace Polk he knew why. There was no thinly veiled account of truth here, this had all really happened. He could easily imagine the woman sitting next to him embarking on a disastrous series of relationships just to prove that she was over whoever Greg really was.

The rest of the flight went far too quickly, and when the pilot announced that it would be 30 minutes until they landed, he decided to skip to the last chapter of the book. He couldn’t resist reading the end while still sitting next to the author.

Once he’d finished it he sat back in his seat and looked over at Grace. For the first time he noticed the ring on her left hand.

“You married him.” He wasn’t even sure if he was really speaking to her.

“Check out the dedication, dude.”

To Luke, You make all things possible.

“That’s why you’re heading home in the middle of the night.”

“He’s Catholic. He’d kill me if I missed our son’s first Christmas morning.”

“You’re not what I expected.”

“Is anybody?

“Hey, gimmie that for a minute.” She pulled the book back from him, pulled a pen out of her backpack and scribbled something in the front of the book.

He didn’t get a chance to look at it when she handed it back to him. The flight attendant came around at that moment and asked them to put everything away to prepare for landing. Once the plane landed he forgot about it in his rush to get home to his family. Grace Polk disappeared into the crowd at the airport and he made his way home.

It wasn’t until he was emptying his carry-on at home that he saw the book again. He opened it and saw that she had inscribed the book for him.

Don’t judge a book by its cover. Happy Christmas, Grace Girardi.

Merry Christmas Mr.Girardi

It was four o’clock when Luke entered the community center. The presentation was to begin at 6h30 but he could already hear some kids talking in one of the small rooms.

“Mr. Girardi I presume?”

Luke turned around to see who was talking to him. He smiled at the woman in front of him. She was slim with long mocha hair and chocolate eyes.

“Yes I am. But please call me Luke,” He held out his hand and she took it, “I know that I’m early but I just wanted enough time to get prepared.”

“That’s ok. I’m Samantha by the way. But you can call me Sam. I’m so glad that you accepted our invitation on such short notice.”

She was about to say something else when a little blond boy entered the room. He looked directly at Sam and asked, “Is he here yet?”

Sam smiled at the boy, “Yes Jake he is.”

Sam turned to look back at Luke. Jake followed her gaze. When he saw the man behind Sam he gave a little gasp. His eyes widened and he looked totally in shock.

“Wow. You are really here,” Jake took a step back and said again, “Wow.”

Samantha couldn’t help but laugh.

“Why don’t you go play with the other children and let me and Mr. Girardi get prepared.”

“Ok,” Jake said. He gave a big smile to Luke before running back where the children voices were coming from.

Sam looked back at Luke and said, “You’ll have to excuse him. He’s a big fan. He’s been so excited ever since I told the group you were coming. He said it was the best Christmas gift he could ever receive.”

Luke gave Sam a big smile and said, “I’ve always wanted to meet my biggest fan.”

They both started laughing.

“So what do you say we start preparing your stuff?”

Luke picked up his bag and said, “That’s a great idea”.


Luke and Sam were in the process of getting all the stuff ready when Sam asked, “So Luke any plans for the holidays?”

“Well I was thinking about spending Christmas with my family because my sister and her husband are coming home with their new baby. But I’m still not sure. It depends on how much work I have to do.”

Sam looked at him with a confused expression.

“Isn’t your wife going to be mad that you’re working during the holidays?”

Luke let out a shy laugh and said, “I’m not married.”

“Ok then, your fianc้e or girlfriend?”

“No I’m not seeing anyone right now. I guess I haven’t found the perfect person yet.”

Luke started to open his computer but felt Sam’s eyes on him. He looked at her and saw the weird look she was giving him.

“What?”

“Who is she?”

Luke looked at her all confused and asked again, “What?”

“Well,” she said, “You’re twenty-seven, you’re handsome and have a successful series of children’s book. You probably have a fan club of woman wanting you and your standing here telling me that there is no Mrs. Girardi? It just sounds to me that there is a lost love holding you back or something”

“Well you are wrong,” he said desperately trying not to look directly at Sam. He knew he was a bad liar and decided it was a good time to change the subject.

“Ok now we’re ready. You can go get the kids.”

Luke waited for Sam to leave the room before taking the small picture he had in his coat pocket. “Lost love,” he murmured. He looked at Grace in the picture. It was the only picture they ever took together. They were with Joan, Adam, Friedman and Glynis. The six of them were standing in front of their high school. He and Grace were standing behind a bench while the others were in front. Luke grinned at the thought of that day.

He remembered that just before the picture was taken Grace had taken his hand in her own, gave it a gentle squeeze and said quietly so only he could hear, “Maybe you wont see this in the picture but you’ll always remember.”

And of course Luke remembered. He never forgot it. In fact it was one of his most cherish moment.

Luke’s heart filled up with joy at that memory but the joy suddenly disappeared when he remembered that Grace was not with him anymore. When they graduated they both agreed it would be better to go there separate ways. At first they called each other everyday. Luke often called Grace for cooking or cleaning tips. He knew he should call his mom for those kinds of things since she probably knew more than Grace but Luke still took every chance he had to call. Then in the second year the phone calls became less frequent. Luke had made new friends and so did Grace. They still talked at least once a week but now the conversations were not about them anymore. It was about what their friends did or what parties they went to. Soon those weekly phone calls turned into monthly calls and then, at the end of the second years, they stopped totally. Luke always wanted to call Grace but something always came up. It was only when one of Luke’s friends died in a car accident at the end of the third year that he decided that life was too short to let good things pass. It was at that time that Luke realized an important thing.

He wanted Grace back. He needed Grace back.

He tried to reach her at her apartment only to learn that she had moved. He then called the Polanski’s home trying to get her new phone number. He was devastated when he learned why grace moved.

He remembers Rabbi Polanski telling him with a sad tone “Luke I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but Grace is married now and she just had a baby boy.”

The week after that phone call was horrible. His heart was broken. He knew he had lost the love of his life. He didn’t hear about her again since that phone call. Deep down Luke knew he still wanted her back. “Why does that girl have such an effect on me,” he thought “She’s married with a child. We haven’t spoken in ages and I still can’t get her out of my head.”

Luke couldn’t even start to count the time he asked himself ‘Why didn’t I call sooner. Why didn’t I tell her how much she means to me or that she’s the first thing I think about in the morning and the last at night.” He took a deep breath to calm himself down. His eyes started to fill up with tears at the thought of how his life was miserable without Grace. He did try dating since the breakup but every date finished with him thinking ‘She’s not Grace.’

“I guess Sam is right. I do have a lost love holding me back,” Luke murmured.

Luke was brought back to reality when he heard children’s voices coming his way. He threw the picture in his bag and tried to put a smile back on his face. It was difficult since his eyes were filled with tears and is heart was aching with sadness. His smile only came back when he heard little Jake whispering to a friend “See I told you. He looks so smart. He’s probably the smartest person ever.”

Only then Luke had the courage to turn and face the children.

“Ok everyone. Lets sit down and then the presentation can start.”


“The presentation was very good Luke. The kids loved you”

Luke laughed and said, “Well I had a good crowd. I love children. They are not afraid to ask questions about life. That is why I started writing for them.”

Luke looked at the last kids living the presentation room. “Maybe I’ll even have one of my own someday.” Luke gave Sam his best smile and continued “When I find the right person.”

Sam laughed “Ok, Ok, I get it. No lost love”

Now they were both laughing.

“Do you need help picking up all your stuff?”

“No that’s ok. You can go and take care of the kids.”

Luke started packing his things. He was almost done when he heard a little voice coming from the door.

“Mr. Girardi, can I ask you for your autograph?”

Luke looked at Jake and saw him holding up a copy of his book. “Sure.” He looked around for a pen, “Humm. Oh wait. I think I have one in my bag”.

Luke took out his pen and wrote ‘To my biggest little fan.’ He gave back the book.

“Wow,” Jake said, “Thank you.”

“Jake,” Sam said has she entered the room, “I was looking for you. Your mom called. She’s going to be late. All the other kids are gone but you can go and play in the game room if you want to.”

“Can’t I stay here and talk with Mr. Girardi?” he asked with a pleading voice

Sam looked at Luke and laughed, “Only if it’s alright with him.”

“It’s ok. He can stay.”

Sam smiled and left them alone.

Jake was looking at Luke intensively. It took a moment before he asked, “Are you the smartest man alive? I mean it looks like you know everything.”

Luke laughed, “No I’m not the smartest man alive. I’m just an average man who happens to know a lot of stuff.” Luke looked at Jake and saw that his expression suddenly changed. His eyes where now filled with sadness.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Luke went to sit next to Jake and said, “Sure you can ask me anything.”

Jake seemed a little shy.

“Is there a science explanation why sometimes Daddies leave their family?”

Luke had no idea how to answer that question. “Well you know there is an explanation for everything. I don’t know what the explanation to your question is but I can assure you that there is one.” Luke looked down at Jake. The sight waiting for him was heart braking. Jake was looking at the floor. He had tears running down his face. Without thinking Luke picked up Jake from his chair and sat him on his lap. He held him close.

“There is always an explanation even if the situation doesn’t make any sense to you right now. I can’t help you with figuring out why things happen the way they do but I can assure you that things will get better some day.”

Jake wasn’t crying anymore. He was looking up at Luke and smiling.

“You’re nice Mr. Girardi. Do you have any children?”

“No I don’t but I plan to have some oneday.”

“Why don’t you have children now?”

“Humm...,” Luke cleared his throat, “I haven’t found the right person yet.”

The sadness Luke felt earlier began to resurface. ‘Why do I do this to myself,’ he thought, ‘why do I always think about Grace when people ask me that kind of question?’ Tears stared filling up his eyes again. He wasn’t sure if they were tears of sadness or anger. He felt the little kid staring at him.

Luke decided it was a good time to change the subject before he lost it completely, “So Jake do you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah?”

“Both,” Jake said, “I celebrate Hanukkah because of my mom and Christmas because of my dad”. He took a paused and continued “We celebrated Hanukkah last year and my mom says it’s ok to celebrate Christmas this year even if Daddy isn’t with us. That is probably why my mom is late. She had to go get Christmas decorations. Did you know there was only 5 days left before Christmas? I can’t wait.”

Jake looked at the floor.

“What’s this?”

He got off Luke’s lap and went to pick up something on the floor. Luke recognized the picture.

“Oh that’s mine. It must’ve fallen out when I was looking for a pen.”

Jake went to sit next to Luke.

“Who’s this?” he asked.

“It’s my sister Joan and next to her is Adam. He’s her boyfriend or I should say was her boyfriend because now they are married and they just had a beautiful baby girl.”

“And who are those people?”

“They were my two high school best friends. I used to date the girl but it didn’t last long.”

Jake had now a disgusted look on his face

“Gross. I don’t like girls.”

Luke laughed, “You’ll grow into liking them.”

Jake shook his head and said, “I don’t think so.”

Luke suddenly saw Jake’s facial expression change. He looked extremely confused. He took a moment before saying, “Mr. Girardi can I ask you another question?”

“Of course.”

“I understand why you’re in a picture with your sister, her boyfriend, your ex girlfriend and your best friend but why are you in a picture with my mom?”

Jake was pointing to the picture. Luke took a moment before looking at where Jake was pointing. He was felling so many different emotions at that moment. He looked down at the picture and saw Jake’s finger pointing directly at Grace.

“Grace is your mother,” he asked in disbelief.

“Yes she is,” Jake was staring at the picture “I don’t understand. Mommy reads me your books every night and she never told me she knew you. Why?”

Luke was still shocked, “I can’t give you an answer to that.”

Luke looked down at his watch trying to avoid Jake staring eyes.

“You know what? I’m sure your mom won’t be long now. Maybe you should get prepared.”

“Ok. I’ll bring her to see you when she arrives.”

Luke watched the little boy running out of the room. Once he was out Luke stared down at the picture. He knew now that Jake’s mom was not really late. She was just trying to avoid him.


Grace had no idea how long she had been sitting in her car. She has seen many parents go in the community center and come back out with their children. She felt very bad to have Jake wait for her inside but she wasn’t ready to go in. She knew that Luke was probably still inside. How could she face him after all these years? How is she supposed to react in front of the man that invaded her dreams every night? She never felt so scared in her life.

“I’m just going to wait ten more minutes before going in. By that time Luke will probably have left,” She said to herself.

Grace just sat there staring blankly at the building. She tried not to think about the happier times in her life when she was still with him. It didn’t take long before she lost all control on her thoughts. She smiled to herself. She could clearly remember her last year of high school. She was so happy with Luke. With him, in the secrecy of the biology closet, she could let down her tough act and be herself. Usually she hated people when they made her fell like a girl but she was ok when it was Luke. At that time she would have never admitted it but she even liked when he made her feel like that. In those two years they have been together she felt better then she ever felt in her life. He had a way of capturing her heart every time they hugged, kissed or even when they were simply in the same room. His presence alone was comforting for her. When they graduated and decided to go there separate ways she would have never imagine that they could loose all contact.

At first they called each other everyday. She even found herself waiting next to the phone for his phone call. She teased him a lot because he would call to ask weird questions about cooking or cleaning. Sometimes they would talk for hours at a time. When it was time to say goodbye she felt so empty inside. There were so many times when she wanted to tell him how much she missed him. How much she wanted to quit everything in her life and move in with him. She never did say those things. She knew he had a great future ahead of him. She didn’t want to compromise it. She just waited for those four college years to finish so they could be together again.

Unfortunately things didn’t go the way she planned. During the second year she was so occupied with her studies and her new friends that she had less time to call. They still talked once in a while. But now they grew more and more apart. Luke often talked about girls he met at parties. Grace knew he wasn’t romantically involved with any of those girls but still she couldn’t help but feel jealous.

Then the phone calls became rare. They talked only on special occasions. She remembered how lonely she felt sometimes. She wanted to call but something always came up. Just like the day she met Marcel. She was about to call Luke when one of her roommates came in and forced her to go to a party. That’s were she saw him for the first time. She still remembered how her body shivered at the sight of him. Even form across the room their eyes locked. He reminded her of Luke. Same blond hair but shorter and the same intense blue eyes. He made the first move. At first she gave him her ‘I’m angry and I don’t care about anyone’ act. But, it didn’t take long before she dropped it. She found early on that with him, like with Luke, it was easy to be herself. They started to see each other regularly. It was only after a few months of dating that she got pregnant. She was so scared at first. She ‘liked’ Marcel but never really thought of their relation being serious. She had decided to keep the baby and raise it by herself. Marcel had told her there was no way she was doing that by herself. They would get married and raise the child. And that’s what they did. During the first year of marriage she rarely thought about Luke. Or at least she tried.

All this changed when she learned that Luke called her father. She tried to once again forget him. She tried to tell herself she was happy. But she wasn’t. Marcel had become a new man. He wasn’t romantic anymore. He didn’t even help around the house or with the baby. And there was the drinking. He wasn’t drinking like her mother. But it was still an issue they fought about often.

Grace became more distant from him. She found herself daydreaming about Luke more and more. She began thinking about leaving Marcel. But she couldn’t. Jake loved his father to much. She couldn’t take that away from him. She decided to do all she could so things would get better in her life. It worked for a while. Things were really going better. Jake was growing up so fast. He reminded her of a little Luke, so smart and curious about life. He was really interested in science. Every time she went to the library with him he would spent hours in the science section. He often asked Grace to read him parts of the books. One day he came to where grace was sitting with a big book. He asked Grace to read a part and she did. She found that it was a really good children’s book. It approached science in a way children could understand. Jake had asked her if she could buy that book for his fourth birthday that was coming up. She accepted. She never imagined that that book could change her life. Everything changed when she turned the book to see the title. She didn’t even see the title. She only saw the name of the author. Luke Girardi. So many things went through her mind at that exact moment. She now knew there was no turning back. Now she would never be able to get him out of her head. The book became Jake’s favorite. He took it everywhere he went. He often talked to Grace about Mr. Girardi. Telling her the he must be the smartest man alive. Every night she had to read a part to him. Grace often asked herself what would happen if Jake learned that his idol was not only a guy his mother knew but the guy she thought about all the time. She decided it was better if he didn’t know.

Thing with Marcel didn’t improved. He became distant. He didn’t pay attention to her anymore but the worst was that he also became distant with Jake. One day she decided it was over. She decided she couldn’t do that to Jake anymore. She asked Marcel to leave. He didn’t even argue with her. He left. The only thing she didn’t know then was that he left to never come back.

From that moment she raised Jake by herself. The more he grew the more he made her think of Luke. Everyday she thought about calling Luke. Asking him to come and see her, asking him if he would take her back. But she never did it. She believed he was probably taken by now. He was successful, caring and cute. Any women would be lucky to have him. Grace often cried herself to sleep, thinking of him and what her life could have been. Thinking how much she had change in the past years. Angry grace was gone now. It was now fragile and broken Grace who took her place.

Sitting in her car, Grace now had tears running freely down her face. She was brought back to reality when she heard a tap on the car window. She quickly wiped her tears and rolled down her window.

“Hi Grace!” Sam said with a smile, “Jake is waiting for you inside. He’s talking with Luke Girardi. He is such a big fan. Luke said it was ok for Jake to stay with him until you arrived.”

Graces heart jumped the second she heard his name. He was still there, inside the building. It took a while before she spoke.

“Yes, Jake loves him,” She turned her head trying to make it look like she was looking for something on the next seat and said, “He looks like a great guy.”

“Yes he is. Can you believe he’s not married? He doesn’t even have a girlfriend! I told him I thought he had a lost love but he said I was wrong. But believe me I saw it in his eyes. He was lying.”

Sam offered Grace a sweet smile before saying “I have to go. A Merry Christmas to you.”

“Yes you too.”

Grace got out of her car. She started walking slowly towards the building. Sam words kept repeating in her head. Lost love. She wanted to turn around and run away. But her body didn’t respond anymore. She entered the community center and went straight to the presentation room. There he was, walking toward the exit door. For the first time in so many years everything made sense. She knew exactly what do to. Before he reached the door she called out to him.


Luke had no idea what to do. Should he leave? Should he stay? ‘Grace had probably her reasons for not telling Jake that she knew me,’ he thought, ‘She’s probably going to be mad when she finds out I’m still here.’ His heart was telling him to stay but his mind was telling him to get his things and leave. Luke took a deep breath and said to himself, “I’m leaving. Grace is going to be mad and I don’t want to hurt her.” Luke took his bags and was about to leave by the back door when he heard someone calling his name.

“Luke!”

The voice was sweet but so full of sadness at the same time. Luke turned around just to find Grace standing in the door way at the other end of the room. Their eyes automatically locked together. All the fear he had been feeling earlier disappeared because he saw no rage in Grace’s eyes. In fact the second he saw her he understood everything. She was giving him ‘the look.’ The same look she gave him the morning she admitted that her mother was an alcoholic. The same look of plead that told him not to talk but just hold her and take care of her. Luke dropped all his things and went directly to Grace. Without even thinking about his actions he took her in his arms. He held her tight. She quickly responded by putting her arms around his neck. The world seemed to have stop turning. They just stood there holding on each other like there was no tomorrow. Luke had no idea how long they had stayed like that before he heard a little voice coming from behind Grace.

“Mom I’m ready.”

Grace quickly wiped out the tears on her face and said, “Go wait in the car sweetheart.”

Luke thought it was over. She was going away with her son and he’s going to lose her all over again. Much to his surprise she didn’t go right away. She took his hands in her owns and looked directly at him. The next thing he knew Grace had her lips on his. The kiss was not passionate or intense. It was sweet and tender. When they broke the kiss Grace stayed close to Luke and rested her forehead on his.

“Please come with me and Jake. We are going to decorate the Christmas tree.”

Luke looked at her. He could see that she was scared. She was scared that he would say no. Luke could felt the love he had tried to hide for nine years filling his body. It’s at that exact moment that he knew everything was going to be ok for Jake, for Grace, and for him. He whispered, “I love you.”

He saw Grace’s expression change. She was now smiling at him. For a second Luke forgot how to breathe. He had forgotten how beautiful she was. Tears were coming down on her face again but now he knew they were happy tears.

“You can’t imagine how long I’ve waited for this moment,” her eyes locked with his and she smiled, “I love you too Mr. Girardi.”


Luke always hated last minute Christmas shopping. The malls where always filled with people. But this year Luke didn’t care. It was worth all the waiting and pushing. Luke was about to enter a store when he heard someone calling for him.

“Mr. Girardi!”

Luke turned around to face Samantha. “Oh hi! It’s been a long time.”

“One year to be exact,” She looked down at what Luke was holding “So I see you’ve been busy lately,” she continued while looking sweetly to the baby girl Luke was holding.

Luke was about to respond to Sam’s comment but was interrupted by a little blond boy calling for him.

“Come on Dad! I found the perfect one.”

Luke and Sam walked were the boy was. Sam looked at Luke with a confused look before turning to the little boy and saying “Hi Jake.”

“Hi Mrs. Samantha.”

Sam and Jake continued their conversation while Luke studied in his hand the gift Jake choose.

“I have to go. I wish you a merry Christmas Jake.”

She turned to Luke and said “Merry Christmas Mr.Girardi.”

“You have no idea how perfect this Christmas is going to be” Luke murmured while looking down at the perfect engagement ring he held in his hand.