Quotes Season 2 (H-R)

Quotes- Season Two

Only Connect
Grace: You’ve used up all your minutes.
Luke: What am I, a cell phone?
Grace: No…but you are a service provider.

Luke: You are so hyper vigilant.
Grace: Oh, don’t use big words.

Luke: Grace.
Grace: You’re dead.

Out of Sight
Grace: Dude, ABBA?
Luke: I thought you might like them because everyone hates them.
Grace: Well you thought wrong.

Luke: You're very intolerant.
Grace: High musical standards does not make me intolerant, dude.
Luke: Um, okay, let's delve into some classical selections.
Grace: What are trying to do, kill me? Why don't we just start speaking in Latin?

Grace: Olatunji. African drums.
Luke: Pretentious attempt to co-opt another culture in order to hide your own middle class roots.
Grace: You are going to be bleeding soon.
Luke: Feel the power of Metallica, Master of Puppets. The anthem of thrash metal.
Grace: Metallica? That sounds like a band with no hands.

("Celebration starts playing on a nearby stereo)
Both: At least you didn't bring that.
(Pause, they look at each other)
Luke: A shared experience of dissonance creates its own harmony.
Grace: What?
Luke: Harmonic resonance. It's one of the basic laws of physics. Our mutual hatred for Kool and the Gang has formed a harmonic union between us.
Grace: I think I feel it.
Luke: Grace...this is our song.

Grace: You put it on repeat in an attempt to circumvent our five minute make-out rule.
Luke: Free will between the amorous parties supersedes contractual duty, rendering our agreement void ab bi nitio.
Grace: You're impaired, dude.
Luke: Caveat emptor. I have grounds to renegotiate.

Back to the Garden
Luke: Indeterminacy states that the change of a particle, X, is unknown until the outcome is, uh, observed over a certain period of time, T.
Grace: Showoff.

Glynis: If you’re concerned that working with me will be awkward, I can assure you I’ve moved on. And on…and on.
Luke: It’s not that. It’s just, uh, Grace wanted some help on a project.
Grace: I don’t need your help pencil neck. Never will.

Grace: Are you fondling my ankles?
Luke: Yes, I am.
Grace: Look, if you can’t handle the terms, the terms which you agreed to, then maybe you can’t handle me.

Luke: Before you get mad…
Grace: What are you doing?
Luke: I need to talk.
Grace: Girardi, waiting outside the girls’ bathroom is a little stalky.

Grace: This is about my privacy and you not respecting it, that’s all.
Luke: Ok, fine. Then be private, and alone, because clearly that’s what you want.

Luke: I thought about it, and I do want to work within your terms.
Grace: Well you shouldn’t. It’s totally unfair.
Luke: See, that's the thing. I don't think they are. I mean, basically, I've been asking for a total regime change in your public and personal life. But you know what? I looked up every major political revolution in the last hundred years, and not even the most violent ones were sudden. You know, they built up over years of dissatisfaction and unrest.
Grace: Did you make a special effort not to use a science metaphor?
Luke: I'm trying to expand my range.

Grace: What's this?
Luke: It's a seedling, for a sunflower. It's hard to believe they can grow up to eight feet tall. I stole it from Joan.

The Cat
Luke: …and she just - she just sunk to the floor, you know, like eyes wide. I just, I kinda shut down and watched like it wasn’t real.
Grace: Dude, weird.
Luke: That’s it? Weird? My aunt almost died and that’s all you can say?
Grace: Okay, Bruce Banner, relax.

Grace: Gravity_boy has logged off?
Luke: Joan was trying to bust me for looking at porn.
Grace: You were looking at porn while we were online?
Luke: No! Do…do you want me to?

The Election
Grace: Dude, your sister is looking to support the corrupt political system at Arcadia High, which is totally symptomatic of the larger political...
Luke: (inturrupting) Are we ever gonna talk about your mom?
Grace: (hesitates) No...
Luke: Grace, you IMed me that your mom's an alcoholic. I know you wanna talk about it.
Grace: (long pause) I just wanted you to know.

Luke: The latest polls don't look good.
Joan: Well they will if we find something on Lars. Whatever it takes. It's the only way to beat these guys.
Grace: Horses head always works.
Joan: Thought you were the poster girl for apathy?
Luke: She was hit by a wave of school spirit.
Joan: (suspiciously) She told you?
Luke: ...I gleaned it.

Luke: You know, statistically, this last campaign thrust has less than a 13% chance of success.
Grace: You do realize I don't understand half of what you say?




Wealth of Nations
Grace: Dude, it's like a pet cemetery in here.
Luke: Lischak gave me the key. Science student of the year does have its privileges.
Grace: This is so the beginning of a Stephen King novel.
Luke: Where were you last night? I IM’d you a thousand times.
Grace: Oh, my mom was in rare form. Doing her Judy Garland act. Lots of singing, lots of falling down, me putting her in the shower.
Luke: Where was your dad?
Grace: He works late so he doesn't have to deal. It's their little unspoken bargain. As long as she's sober at temple, runs her meetings, and has everybody snowed, she... (Luke is looking at her) don't look all simpy. I'm used to it.
Luke: Maybe you should talk to somebody.
Grace: Why? I'm almost out of there.
Luke: It's 2 more years. That's 15 percent of your life so far.
Grace: (Changes the subject) The test is on Thursday. Let's cram. (They sit down) Dark matter, black holes. Lay it on me.
Luke: Their gravity is so strong that they pull in anything that gets close to them... You know, you don't have to be embarrassed to talk to me about this-
Grace: (She changes the subject again by giving him a kiss) How's that for gravitational pull?
(They kiss again)

Grace: No sucky-face yet, bone rack. We have a physics midterm in 2 days, and I know less about Planck's constant than that lobster... or is that 2 frogs?
Luke: That's not why I'm here. (Hands her a pamphlet)
Grace: 'Alateen?' You blabbed about me... to a roomful of freaks?
Luke: I picked it up at the public library, and they're not freaks. They're kids like us.
Grace: Dude, have you been inhaling the formaldehyde? There's no way I'm doing this.
Luke: Go to one meeting.
Grace: I've been through it all, Girardi. There is nothing new they can tell me.
Luke: You've been through it by yourself. It doesn't have to be that way anymore.

Grace: (Whispering) This is just too weird, Girardi.
Leader: Anybody else?
Grace: (Stands up) Hi, my name is Grace.
All: Hi, Grace.
Grace: Uh... Nothing leaves this room, right? Because I will hunt you people down. (Off of their reassuring look) Uh... (Softly) my mother is an alcoholic. (Luke takes her hand and Grace looks at him and smiles) And this is… my boyfriend... Luke.
All: Hi, Luke.
(Luke stands up, surprised. He and Grace look at each other)



P.O.V.
Joan: Adam, Yes, you can. Just act natural.
Grace: That's an oxymoron. The minute you turn on a camera, you're distorting reality. It's Heisenberg's uncertainty principle.
Joa: You sound like my brother.
Grace: Then I will shut up ... and I will walk away.

Luke: You keeping a journal?
Grace: Yeah. But it's mostly free-form swearing. I'm just not the journal type.
Luke: You gotta keep at it, Grace. Remember the 7 C’s for dealing with an alcoholic parent: You can't control it. You can't cure it. You can't feel responsible.
Grace: That's not a "C."
Luke: The "C" is in the "can't." And you know you want to change your life, or else you wouldn't have gone to the Alateen meeting-
Grace: [talking over him] Ohh! Don't pretend like you know me. You know? Just because you did some good little deed doesn't give you the right to get all up in my face.

Luke: [sighs] I think it's really admirable that you want to talk, Grace.
Grace: Who said anything about talkin'? (She kisses him but he pushes her away) You'd rather talk than make out? I think you're the one that needs the help, Girardi.
(Grace starts to laugh and moves in for another kiss but Luke pushes her away)
Luke: No! I'm not gonna let you use our make out time as a cudgel to avoid this issue.
Grace: See, this is why I don't talk to anyone. 'Cause now we're all about her. That stupid fifth "c" is how the alcoholic is controlling my life. Well, I'm not gonna let her. Ok?
Luke: She already is! Look at us!
Grace: Only 'cause you can't get off it!
Luke: Ok. So, let me come over to your house, and we'll hang out. Grace: This conversation is over.
(Grace starts to leave but Luke grabs her arm and pulls her around to face him)
Luke: Can't you see what you're letting her do to you?!
Grace: It's my space! I made the choice! Me!
Luke: I think you really believe that you're strong. But you're more terrified than anyone I know.
(Luke leaves and Grace slams the door after him, looking upset.)

(The door to Grace's room opens and Grace and Luke enter. Luke looks around).
Grace: Speak, creep.
Luke: I like it. It's, uh... it's a little... tidier than I thought it'd be.
Grace: I'm not tidy. I just... thought you should be able to walk in here, that's all.
Luke: That's nice. Thanks.
Grace:"Nice. Tidy." Do you have a death wish?
Luke: (Looks across the room) Oh, dude! "Splash." The original beanie baby. (On her bureau is a whale beanie baby, next to the geode from "The Gift.")
Grace: It was the first inflationary bubble of our lifetime. My mom stood in line at 5:00 in the morning to get the second run. It opened my eyes to the dangers of capitalism.
Luke: I have "Pinchers."
Grace: The lobster?
Luke: Originally released under the name "Punchers." Retired in 1987, which briefly inflated the price to over $5,000. A classic lesson that any economic system is subject to the whims of human emotion.
Grace: And easily exploited by the rapacious elite.
Luke: The cool calculation of science meets the heated imprecision of economic theory.
(They kiss and a door closes downstairs)
Grace�s Mom: (off camera) Grace! I'm home!
Luke: I'll sneak out the window.
(Luke gets up and Grace follows him).
Grace: No. Stay.
(They kiss again)




Friday Night
Grace: [Breaking a kiss] They are so seriously twisted, dude.
Luke: Why do you care if Joan and Adam go on a date? [Leans in to kiss her]
Grace: [Pulling away] Because, they're just mindlessly following these random, sociological constructs.
Luke: Well...I was gonna ask you out...tonight.
Grace: Who do you think you're twisting tongues with, dude?
Luke: Schlock festival at the Arrow, the all-time worst films: Plan 9, Robot Monster, Catwoman From the Moon. I mean, these are serious classics.
Grace: I have a meeting tonight. [Holds up an "Anarchists Unite" pamphlet]
Luke: Anarchists Unite? Isn't that contradictory?
Grace: Anarchy is about shedding false conceptions, so it is not at all contradictory, brain drain. Maybe if you came, you would be less politically dense ...
Luke: Well, anarchists should have an appreciation for the chaotic ineptitude of schlock cinema. It's the very definition of anarchy.
Grace: Don't twist political philosophy to manipulate me into a date.
Luke: Well, isn't that what you're doing? Trying to get me to your meeting.

Luke: Grace? I went to the anarchy meeting looking for you?
Grace: Well, I came to the movies. [Pause] What happened to your shoes?
Luke: They were made by, uh, kids in Central America; I burned them.
[Grace smiles and stands; they meet in the row and kiss, standing in front of the movie screen]
Audience Member: Hey, lovebirds, sit down.
[Grace glares before tossing popcorn at him. Luke and Grace leave the theater]

Friedman [to Luke and Grace]: Just give it up; hold hands or something. [Takes both their hands and entwines them before giving both a hug].




No Future
Luke: Look, I know it's a lot to ask.
Grace: Dude... licking your floors would be a lot to ask.
Luke: No. It's one dinner.
Grace: No!
Luke: It's my birthday dinner. My dad makes Lasagne.
Grace: I'll get you a present. Besides, someone we knew is actually dead. How can you even think of celebrating?
Luke: It's dinner, Grace. You know, nobody's going to do the limbo or wear stupid hats.
Grace: You know, once your sister knows, the world knows. We might as well get married.
Luke: Joan won't figure it out.
Grace: Oh, yeah. She's not that stupid.
Luke: Stupid, no. Self-absorbed? Paris Hilton has more perspective. Look, I'll say we have to study later. It's my 16th birthday, you know, the one where you get a car. I mean, I'm just getting a diving watch. But, still, it's a watershed event.
Grace: I thought you were afraid of the ocean.
Luke: Grace, this is what I want for my birthday, ok? Not a present, not a rain check, not 5 more minutes of make-out time.
Grace: (She whispers, Cutting him off) Shut up!
Luke: This is a deal-breaker, Grace.

Grace: I will not sing. I will not wear a dress.
Luke: What?
Grace: Those are the terms.
Luke: So you're saying yes?
Grace: And it has nothing to do with that asinine threat. I will do all the breaking up around here. Got it?
[Grace leaves as Luke smiles]
Luke: Absolutely.

Grace: I got you something, too. [Grace unfolds and holds up the confidentiality contract]
Luke: Our secrecy contract.
[Grace rips it in half, smiles, and kisses Luke. As they separate, Joan looks extremely surprised]




Book of Questions
Luke: Grace! So what can I do?
Grace: Hmm?
Luke: For your bat mitzvah.
Grace: Nothing. I- I just want it to come and go quickly like Hoobastank.
Friedman: Savor it, Marge. I tell you, when the hora starts, you're up in that chair... now, that's a rush.
Glynis: But don't crowd surf. The elderly aren't prepared for it.
Grace: Look, just come to my stupid party, laugh at the chocolate fountain, make fun of my relatives, and if you're good, maybe we can make out behind the DJ booth.
Friedman: Sweet!
Grace and Luke: Shut up, Friedman.

Joan: Cool. So what are you wearing?
Grace: A dress.
Joan: You're... wearing a dress.
Grace: Oh, nice smirk. Thanks for the help.

Friedman: I'm thinking ten shares of eBay. It's practical yet romantic.
Luke: Are you insane?
Friedman: Why not? The teitelbaums gave me 10 shares of halliburton. Talk about the gift that keeps on giving...
Luke: I'm not giving grace stock.
Glynis: Ooh! You could give her a bran muffin.
Luke: Why would I do that?
Glynis: Oh, 'cause that's what you got me when we were going out, except you were low on cash and I had to pay.
Friedman: Lingerie.
Luke: For a bat mitzvah?
Friedman: Exactly. The lady is becoming a woman. Am I not good?
Glynis: The muffin was a little stale. I'm not bitter, though.
Friedman: Is a moped too expensive? Dude...the Friedman knows what to choose for the chosen people!

Grace: The whole concept of a dress is a sexist symbol of thousands of years of reducing women to fetish objects.
Joan: This would look so hot on you!
Grace: Have you been listening at all?
Joan: Yeah, angry, angry, angry, society, angry, politics. [She drapes a red dress over Grace's shoulders] Here! Try this on. Look, Grace, this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, you know, like a wedding! Except lots of people do that more than once, so it'll be even better.

Friedman: Ok, this one's pretty nifty. It's got Jerusalem embroidered on it, matching kippah. Smoking hot.
Luke: People really give these?
Friedman: I got five.
Luke: And you like them?
Friedman: Like them? They're bar mitzvah presents. Nobody likes them. They simply exist, like Stonehenge. Consider the candlestick, a popular Shabbat favourite. [Off of Luke's puzzled look] Shabbat-- lighting of the candles, Friday night...
Luke: But she doesn't do that.
Friedman: Then she can use it to kill colonel mustard in the library. Dude, you are so over-thinking this.
Luke: I just- I can't give her some random thing, you know? I should give her something that when she looks at it, she thinks of me. Even when she's 90.
Friedman: There's always the giant sea turtle.

Friedman: We could go kama sutra. You said you wanted personal. If that's not personal, I don't know what is.
Luke:Friedman, this is a religious event! It's got deeper meaning than…[Glances at book]...remarkably limber. No. [Luke picks up an Astronomy book]
Friedman: An astronomy text? That's relationship suicide.
Luke: I don't know. I mean... we met in science class.
Friedman: My god, it's used! Grandparents wouldn't give that.

Luke: [Has the astronomy book opened] Perfect. I found it. There's no- no admonitions, Friedman. I am committed.

Joan: It was so weird. The other day, her mom was like this regular, normal mom, then today...
Luke: I've never seen her mom when she's been drinking. I've only been to her place a couple of times.
Joan: She was a totally different person. So sad. If this happens all the time, you should have told me.
Luke: Grace made me promise not to say anything.
Joan: I'm her best friend. I should have known!
Luke: And I'm her boyfriend. Look, I got her to go to A-La-Teen so she could start dealing with it. You just have to give her time.
Joan: Time? Luke, she already put off her Bat Mitzvah.
Luke: She's put it off before, probably for the same reason.
Joan: Luke, she has to do this!
[Grace enters]
Grace: Why the hell did you come to my house? [To Luke] Did you tell her, freak?
Luke: No.
Joan: No! He didn't say anything. I just wanted to talk to you. You wouldn't call me back.
Grace: And you couldn't take a hint this is none of your business? [To Luke] And it's none of yours anymore either. We're done. [Turns to leave]
Luke: Grace, I'm sorry.

Joan: Why are you running away? You don't seem to mind getting in people's faces except for when it matters!
Grace: Oh, save it.
Joan: You hide Luke- which, yeah, ok, I kinda understand- but you hide your mom, you hide all the important stuff, Grace. I'm not Jewish, but it seems to me this whole bat mitzvah thing is about standing up and declaring yourself! Getting in people's faces for real!
Luke: [From the stairs] Grace. I already got you a present.
[Grace is visibly moved]

Grace: Anyway, basically me and my dad have been fighting about this day since I hit the double digits. And, uh... I won't go into it. It was a political thing. And a daughter of a rabbi thing. But finally I...gave in and indulged them one last empty ritual before I'm outta here. But then, um... not to get all gooey... when you handed me the Torah, it hit me that... this is a genius way of attacking adulthood. I mean, this scroll... there are no easy answers in here. It's basically a book of questions... something that makes us keep searching for a way to make sense of this mess. And just dealing with a lot of questions, that takes a lot of guts when there's no guarantee that there will be answers. And, uh, I just hope I'm up for it. So... fire up that cheesy music, and let's eat.

Grace: Those pictures are gonna surface one day. Bat mitzvah vets for truth are gonna ruin my life.

Grace: Told you not to get me anything.
Luke: Just come on.
Grace: Alone in the dark? This better not be something Friedman suggested.
Luke: Ok, look up. [She looks at him]No, no, no. Right over there, above the constellation Leo.
Grace: My neck is cramping.
Luke: Look! Did you see that? [A shooting star]
Grace: How did you get them to do that?
Luke: It's the Leonid meteor shower. Happens every year or so. So you'll never forget tonight. I mean, it was either this or... Shabbat candlesticks.
Grace: Oh! Look! There's another one!
Luke: You know, there's a theory that... that all organic matter on earth, life, may have come from those. Wonder if we'll ever know.




Dive
Grace: So we got home from the bat mitzvah. She drags out the photo album and gets totally hammered while narrating the complete Polonsky family history, starting in Poland. I heard her even through the headphones in my room.
Luke: I don't know how you put up with that.
Grace: Like I have a choice?
Luke: Isn't that what your bat mitzvah was all about? Taking responsibility?

Luke: Of all people, I think you would have the courage to make her get help! What are you so afraid of?
Grace: [Stands up] What the hell do you know about courage, dude? You hide in your head. You're obsessed with science and formulas and mind games so that you don't really have to live. Have you ever taken a risk ever?
Luke: Grace-
Grace: The most you're ever gonna be is a pathetic science teacher who never really went for what he really wanted.

Luke: You know, I've structured my whole life to be risk-free, never allowing for a situation where I might fail. So I've cut out whole realms of experiences that I want to be a part of. I just... I just don't want to live half a life anymore.

[Grace is at the door to Luke's room]
Grace: I was in the neighbourhood.
Luke: Really?
Grace: No, but... makes this easier, so go with it. Ok. Look, just... forget that stupid diving team. That whole rant, that was- I was- I mean I- are you gonna make me go on?
Luke: No.
Grace: Okay. I talked to my mom...finish your homework.