Merry Christmas Mr.Girardi

It was four o’clock when Luke entered the community center. The presentation was to begin at 6h30 but he could already hear some kids talking in one of the small rooms.

“Mr. Girardi I presume?”

Luke turned around to see who was talking to him. He smiled at the woman in front of him. She was slim with long mocha hair and chocolate eyes.

“Yes I am. But please call me Luke,” He held out his hand and she took it, “I know that I’m early but I just wanted enough time to get prepared.”

“That’s ok. I’m Samantha by the way. But you can call me Sam. I’m so glad that you accepted our invitation on such short notice.”

She was about to say something else when a little blond boy entered the room. He looked directly at Sam and asked, “Is he here yet?”

Sam smiled at the boy, “Yes Jake he is.”

Sam turned to look back at Luke. Jake followed her gaze. When he saw the man behind Sam he gave a little gasp. His eyes widened and he looked totally in shock.

“Wow. You are really here,” Jake took a step back and said again, “Wow.”

Samantha couldn’t help but laugh.

“Why don’t you go play with the other children and let me and Mr. Girardi get prepared.”

“Ok,” Jake said. He gave a big smile to Luke before running back where the children voices were coming from.

Sam looked back at Luke and said, “You’ll have to excuse him. He’s a big fan. He’s been so excited ever since I told the group you were coming. He said it was the best Christmas gift he could ever receive.”

Luke gave Sam a big smile and said, “I’ve always wanted to meet my biggest fan.”

They both started laughing.

“So what do you say we start preparing your stuff?”

Luke picked up his bag and said, “That’s a great idea”.


Luke and Sam were in the process of getting all the stuff ready when Sam asked, “So Luke any plans for the holidays?”

“Well I was thinking about spending Christmas with my family because my sister and her husband are coming home with their new baby. But I’m still not sure. It depends on how much work I have to do.”

Sam looked at him with a confused expression.

“Isn’t your wife going to be mad that you’re working during the holidays?”

Luke let out a shy laugh and said, “I’m not married.”

“Ok then, your fianc้e or girlfriend?”

“No I’m not seeing anyone right now. I guess I haven’t found the perfect person yet.”

Luke started to open his computer but felt Sam’s eyes on him. He looked at her and saw the weird look she was giving him.

“What?”

“Who is she?”

Luke looked at her all confused and asked again, “What?”

“Well,” she said, “You’re twenty-seven, you’re handsome and have a successful series of children’s book. You probably have a fan club of woman wanting you and your standing here telling me that there is no Mrs. Girardi? It just sounds to me that there is a lost love holding you back or something”

“Well you are wrong,” he said desperately trying not to look directly at Sam. He knew he was a bad liar and decided it was a good time to change the subject.

“Ok now we’re ready. You can go get the kids.”

Luke waited for Sam to leave the room before taking the small picture he had in his coat pocket. “Lost love,” he murmured. He looked at Grace in the picture. It was the only picture they ever took together. They were with Joan, Adam, Friedman and Glynis. The six of them were standing in front of their high school. He and Grace were standing behind a bench while the others were in front. Luke grinned at the thought of that day.

He remembered that just before the picture was taken Grace had taken his hand in her own, gave it a gentle squeeze and said quietly so only he could hear, “Maybe you wont see this in the picture but you’ll always remember.”

And of course Luke remembered. He never forgot it. In fact it was one of his most cherish moment.

Luke’s heart filled up with joy at that memory but the joy suddenly disappeared when he remembered that Grace was not with him anymore. When they graduated they both agreed it would be better to go there separate ways. At first they called each other everyday. Luke often called Grace for cooking or cleaning tips. He knew he should call his mom for those kinds of things since she probably knew more than Grace but Luke still took every chance he had to call. Then in the second year the phone calls became less frequent. Luke had made new friends and so did Grace. They still talked at least once a week but now the conversations were not about them anymore. It was about what their friends did or what parties they went to. Soon those weekly phone calls turned into monthly calls and then, at the end of the second years, they stopped totally. Luke always wanted to call Grace but something always came up. It was only when one of Luke’s friends died in a car accident at the end of the third year that he decided that life was too short to let good things pass. It was at that time that Luke realized an important thing.

He wanted Grace back. He needed Grace back.

He tried to reach her at her apartment only to learn that she had moved. He then called the Polanski’s home trying to get her new phone number. He was devastated when he learned why grace moved.

He remembers Rabbi Polanski telling him with a sad tone “Luke I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but Grace is married now and she just had a baby boy.”

The week after that phone call was horrible. His heart was broken. He knew he had lost the love of his life. He didn’t hear about her again since that phone call. Deep down Luke knew he still wanted her back. “Why does that girl have such an effect on me,” he thought “She’s married with a child. We haven’t spoken in ages and I still can’t get her out of my head.”

Luke couldn’t even start to count the time he asked himself ‘Why didn’t I call sooner. Why didn’t I tell her how much she means to me or that she’s the first thing I think about in the morning and the last at night.” He took a deep breath to calm himself down. His eyes started to fill up with tears at the thought of how his life was miserable without Grace. He did try dating since the breakup but every date finished with him thinking ‘She’s not Grace.’

“I guess Sam is right. I do have a lost love holding me back,” Luke murmured.

Luke was brought back to reality when he heard children’s voices coming his way. He threw the picture in his bag and tried to put a smile back on his face. It was difficult since his eyes were filled with tears and is heart was aching with sadness. His smile only came back when he heard little Jake whispering to a friend “See I told you. He looks so smart. He’s probably the smartest person ever.”

Only then Luke had the courage to turn and face the children.

“Ok everyone. Lets sit down and then the presentation can start.”


“The presentation was very good Luke. The kids loved you”

Luke laughed and said, “Well I had a good crowd. I love children. They are not afraid to ask questions about life. That is why I started writing for them.”

Luke looked at the last kids living the presentation room. “Maybe I’ll even have one of my own someday.” Luke gave Sam his best smile and continued “When I find the right person.”

Sam laughed “Ok, Ok, I get it. No lost love”

Now they were both laughing.

“Do you need help picking up all your stuff?”

“No that’s ok. You can go and take care of the kids.”

Luke started packing his things. He was almost done when he heard a little voice coming from the door.

“Mr. Girardi, can I ask you for your autograph?”

Luke looked at Jake and saw him holding up a copy of his book. “Sure.” He looked around for a pen, “Humm. Oh wait. I think I have one in my bag”.

Luke took out his pen and wrote ‘To my biggest little fan.’ He gave back the book.

“Wow,” Jake said, “Thank you.”

“Jake,” Sam said has she entered the room, “I was looking for you. Your mom called. She’s going to be late. All the other kids are gone but you can go and play in the game room if you want to.”

“Can’t I stay here and talk with Mr. Girardi?” he asked with a pleading voice

Sam looked at Luke and laughed, “Only if it’s alright with him.”

“It’s ok. He can stay.”

Sam smiled and left them alone.

Jake was looking at Luke intensively. It took a moment before he asked, “Are you the smartest man alive? I mean it looks like you know everything.”

Luke laughed, “No I’m not the smartest man alive. I’m just an average man who happens to know a lot of stuff.” Luke looked at Jake and saw that his expression suddenly changed. His eyes where now filled with sadness.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Luke went to sit next to Jake and said, “Sure you can ask me anything.”

Jake seemed a little shy.

“Is there a science explanation why sometimes Daddies leave their family?”

Luke had no idea how to answer that question. “Well you know there is an explanation for everything. I don’t know what the explanation to your question is but I can assure you that there is one.” Luke looked down at Jake. The sight waiting for him was heart braking. Jake was looking at the floor. He had tears running down his face. Without thinking Luke picked up Jake from his chair and sat him on his lap. He held him close.

“There is always an explanation even if the situation doesn’t make any sense to you right now. I can’t help you with figuring out why things happen the way they do but I can assure you that things will get better some day.”

Jake wasn’t crying anymore. He was looking up at Luke and smiling.

“You’re nice Mr. Girardi. Do you have any children?”

“No I don’t but I plan to have some oneday.”

“Why don’t you have children now?”

“Humm...,” Luke cleared his throat, “I haven’t found the right person yet.”

The sadness Luke felt earlier began to resurface. ‘Why do I do this to myself,’ he thought, ‘why do I always think about Grace when people ask me that kind of question?’ Tears stared filling up his eyes again. He wasn’t sure if they were tears of sadness or anger. He felt the little kid staring at him.

Luke decided it was a good time to change the subject before he lost it completely, “So Jake do you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah?”

“Both,” Jake said, “I celebrate Hanukkah because of my mom and Christmas because of my dad”. He took a paused and continued “We celebrated Hanukkah last year and my mom says it’s ok to celebrate Christmas this year even if Daddy isn’t with us. That is probably why my mom is late. She had to go get Christmas decorations. Did you know there was only 5 days left before Christmas? I can’t wait.”

Jake looked at the floor.

“What’s this?”

He got off Luke’s lap and went to pick up something on the floor. Luke recognized the picture.

“Oh that’s mine. It must’ve fallen out when I was looking for a pen.”

Jake went to sit next to Luke.

“Who’s this?” he asked.

“It’s my sister Joan and next to her is Adam. He’s her boyfriend or I should say was her boyfriend because now they are married and they just had a beautiful baby girl.”

“And who are those people?”

“They were my two high school best friends. I used to date the girl but it didn’t last long.”

Jake had now a disgusted look on his face

“Gross. I don’t like girls.”

Luke laughed, “You’ll grow into liking them.”

Jake shook his head and said, “I don’t think so.”

Luke suddenly saw Jake’s facial expression change. He looked extremely confused. He took a moment before saying, “Mr. Girardi can I ask you another question?”

“Of course.”

“I understand why you’re in a picture with your sister, her boyfriend, your ex girlfriend and your best friend but why are you in a picture with my mom?”

Jake was pointing to the picture. Luke took a moment before looking at where Jake was pointing. He was felling so many different emotions at that moment. He looked down at the picture and saw Jake’s finger pointing directly at Grace.

“Grace is your mother,” he asked in disbelief.

“Yes she is,” Jake was staring at the picture “I don’t understand. Mommy reads me your books every night and she never told me she knew you. Why?”

Luke was still shocked, “I can’t give you an answer to that.”

Luke looked down at his watch trying to avoid Jake staring eyes.

“You know what? I’m sure your mom won’t be long now. Maybe you should get prepared.”

“Ok. I’ll bring her to see you when she arrives.”

Luke watched the little boy running out of the room. Once he was out Luke stared down at the picture. He knew now that Jake’s mom was not really late. She was just trying to avoid him.


Grace had no idea how long she had been sitting in her car. She has seen many parents go in the community center and come back out with their children. She felt very bad to have Jake wait for her inside but she wasn’t ready to go in. She knew that Luke was probably still inside. How could she face him after all these years? How is she supposed to react in front of the man that invaded her dreams every night? She never felt so scared in her life.

“I’m just going to wait ten more minutes before going in. By that time Luke will probably have left,” She said to herself.

Grace just sat there staring blankly at the building. She tried not to think about the happier times in her life when she was still with him. It didn’t take long before she lost all control on her thoughts. She smiled to herself. She could clearly remember her last year of high school. She was so happy with Luke. With him, in the secrecy of the biology closet, she could let down her tough act and be herself. Usually she hated people when they made her fell like a girl but she was ok when it was Luke. At that time she would have never admitted it but she even liked when he made her feel like that. In those two years they have been together she felt better then she ever felt in her life. He had a way of capturing her heart every time they hugged, kissed or even when they were simply in the same room. His presence alone was comforting for her. When they graduated and decided to go there separate ways she would have never imagine that they could loose all contact.

At first they called each other everyday. She even found herself waiting next to the phone for his phone call. She teased him a lot because he would call to ask weird questions about cooking or cleaning. Sometimes they would talk for hours at a time. When it was time to say goodbye she felt so empty inside. There were so many times when she wanted to tell him how much she missed him. How much she wanted to quit everything in her life and move in with him. She never did say those things. She knew he had a great future ahead of him. She didn’t want to compromise it. She just waited for those four college years to finish so they could be together again.

Unfortunately things didn’t go the way she planned. During the second year she was so occupied with her studies and her new friends that she had less time to call. They still talked once in a while. But now they grew more and more apart. Luke often talked about girls he met at parties. Grace knew he wasn’t romantically involved with any of those girls but still she couldn’t help but feel jealous.

Then the phone calls became rare. They talked only on special occasions. She remembered how lonely she felt sometimes. She wanted to call but something always came up. Just like the day she met Marcel. She was about to call Luke when one of her roommates came in and forced her to go to a party. That’s were she saw him for the first time. She still remembered how her body shivered at the sight of him. Even form across the room their eyes locked. He reminded her of Luke. Same blond hair but shorter and the same intense blue eyes. He made the first move. At first she gave him her ‘I’m angry and I don’t care about anyone’ act. But, it didn’t take long before she dropped it. She found early on that with him, like with Luke, it was easy to be herself. They started to see each other regularly. It was only after a few months of dating that she got pregnant. She was so scared at first. She ‘liked’ Marcel but never really thought of their relation being serious. She had decided to keep the baby and raise it by herself. Marcel had told her there was no way she was doing that by herself. They would get married and raise the child. And that’s what they did. During the first year of marriage she rarely thought about Luke. Or at least she tried.

All this changed when she learned that Luke called her father. She tried to once again forget him. She tried to tell herself she was happy. But she wasn’t. Marcel had become a new man. He wasn’t romantic anymore. He didn’t even help around the house or with the baby. And there was the drinking. He wasn’t drinking like her mother. But it was still an issue they fought about often.

Grace became more distant from him. She found herself daydreaming about Luke more and more. She began thinking about leaving Marcel. But she couldn’t. Jake loved his father to much. She couldn’t take that away from him. She decided to do all she could so things would get better in her life. It worked for a while. Things were really going better. Jake was growing up so fast. He reminded her of a little Luke, so smart and curious about life. He was really interested in science. Every time she went to the library with him he would spent hours in the science section. He often asked Grace to read him parts of the books. One day he came to where grace was sitting with a big book. He asked Grace to read a part and she did. She found that it was a really good children’s book. It approached science in a way children could understand. Jake had asked her if she could buy that book for his fourth birthday that was coming up. She accepted. She never imagined that that book could change her life. Everything changed when she turned the book to see the title. She didn’t even see the title. She only saw the name of the author. Luke Girardi. So many things went through her mind at that exact moment. She now knew there was no turning back. Now she would never be able to get him out of her head. The book became Jake’s favorite. He took it everywhere he went. He often talked to Grace about Mr. Girardi. Telling her the he must be the smartest man alive. Every night she had to read a part to him. Grace often asked herself what would happen if Jake learned that his idol was not only a guy his mother knew but the guy she thought about all the time. She decided it was better if he didn’t know.

Thing with Marcel didn’t improved. He became distant. He didn’t pay attention to her anymore but the worst was that he also became distant with Jake. One day she decided it was over. She decided she couldn’t do that to Jake anymore. She asked Marcel to leave. He didn’t even argue with her. He left. The only thing she didn’t know then was that he left to never come back.

From that moment she raised Jake by herself. The more he grew the more he made her think of Luke. Everyday she thought about calling Luke. Asking him to come and see her, asking him if he would take her back. But she never did it. She believed he was probably taken by now. He was successful, caring and cute. Any women would be lucky to have him. Grace often cried herself to sleep, thinking of him and what her life could have been. Thinking how much she had change in the past years. Angry grace was gone now. It was now fragile and broken Grace who took her place.

Sitting in her car, Grace now had tears running freely down her face. She was brought back to reality when she heard a tap on the car window. She quickly wiped her tears and rolled down her window.

“Hi Grace!” Sam said with a smile, “Jake is waiting for you inside. He’s talking with Luke Girardi. He is such a big fan. Luke said it was ok for Jake to stay with him until you arrived.”

Graces heart jumped the second she heard his name. He was still there, inside the building. It took a while before she spoke.

“Yes, Jake loves him,” She turned her head trying to make it look like she was looking for something on the next seat and said, “He looks like a great guy.”

“Yes he is. Can you believe he’s not married? He doesn’t even have a girlfriend! I told him I thought he had a lost love but he said I was wrong. But believe me I saw it in his eyes. He was lying.”

Sam offered Grace a sweet smile before saying “I have to go. A Merry Christmas to you.”

“Yes you too.”

Grace got out of her car. She started walking slowly towards the building. Sam words kept repeating in her head. Lost love. She wanted to turn around and run away. But her body didn’t respond anymore. She entered the community center and went straight to the presentation room. There he was, walking toward the exit door. For the first time in so many years everything made sense. She knew exactly what do to. Before he reached the door she called out to him.


Luke had no idea what to do. Should he leave? Should he stay? ‘Grace had probably her reasons for not telling Jake that she knew me,’ he thought, ‘She’s probably going to be mad when she finds out I’m still here.’ His heart was telling him to stay but his mind was telling him to get his things and leave. Luke took a deep breath and said to himself, “I’m leaving. Grace is going to be mad and I don’t want to hurt her.” Luke took his bags and was about to leave by the back door when he heard someone calling his name.

“Luke!”

The voice was sweet but so full of sadness at the same time. Luke turned around just to find Grace standing in the door way at the other end of the room. Their eyes automatically locked together. All the fear he had been feeling earlier disappeared because he saw no rage in Grace’s eyes. In fact the second he saw her he understood everything. She was giving him ‘the look.’ The same look she gave him the morning she admitted that her mother was an alcoholic. The same look of plead that told him not to talk but just hold her and take care of her. Luke dropped all his things and went directly to Grace. Without even thinking about his actions he took her in his arms. He held her tight. She quickly responded by putting her arms around his neck. The world seemed to have stop turning. They just stood there holding on each other like there was no tomorrow. Luke had no idea how long they had stayed like that before he heard a little voice coming from behind Grace.

“Mom I’m ready.”

Grace quickly wiped out the tears on her face and said, “Go wait in the car sweetheart.”

Luke thought it was over. She was going away with her son and he’s going to lose her all over again. Much to his surprise she didn’t go right away. She took his hands in her owns and looked directly at him. The next thing he knew Grace had her lips on his. The kiss was not passionate or intense. It was sweet and tender. When they broke the kiss Grace stayed close to Luke and rested her forehead on his.

“Please come with me and Jake. We are going to decorate the Christmas tree.”

Luke looked at her. He could see that she was scared. She was scared that he would say no. Luke could felt the love he had tried to hide for nine years filling his body. It’s at that exact moment that he knew everything was going to be ok for Jake, for Grace, and for him. He whispered, “I love you.”

He saw Grace’s expression change. She was now smiling at him. For a second Luke forgot how to breathe. He had forgotten how beautiful she was. Tears were coming down on her face again but now he knew they were happy tears.

“You can’t imagine how long I’ve waited for this moment,” her eyes locked with his and she smiled, “I love you too Mr. Girardi.”


Luke always hated last minute Christmas shopping. The malls where always filled with people. But this year Luke didn’t care. It was worth all the waiting and pushing. Luke was about to enter a store when he heard someone calling for him.

“Mr. Girardi!”

Luke turned around to face Samantha. “Oh hi! It’s been a long time.”

“One year to be exact,” She looked down at what Luke was holding “So I see you’ve been busy lately,” she continued while looking sweetly to the baby girl Luke was holding.

Luke was about to respond to Sam’s comment but was interrupted by a little blond boy calling for him.

“Come on Dad! I found the perfect one.”

Luke and Sam walked were the boy was. Sam looked at Luke with a confused look before turning to the little boy and saying “Hi Jake.”

“Hi Mrs. Samantha.”

Sam and Jake continued their conversation while Luke studied in his hand the gift Jake choose.

“I have to go. I wish you a merry Christmas Jake.”

She turned to Luke and said “Merry Christmas Mr.Girardi.”

“You have no idea how perfect this Christmas is going to be” Luke murmured while looking down at the perfect engagement ring he held in his hand.