Not Everything is About Science

Friday, March 09, 2007

Quotes Season 2 (H-R)

Quotes- Season Two

Only Connect
Grace: You’ve used up all your minutes.
Luke: What am I, a cell phone?
Grace: No…but you are a service provider.

Luke: You are so hyper vigilant.
Grace: Oh, don’t use big words.

Luke: Grace.
Grace: You’re dead.

Out of Sight
Grace: Dude, ABBA?
Luke: I thought you might like them because everyone hates them.
Grace: Well you thought wrong.

Luke: You're very intolerant.
Grace: High musical standards does not make me intolerant, dude.
Luke: Um, okay, let's delve into some classical selections.
Grace: What are trying to do, kill me? Why don't we just start speaking in Latin?

Grace: Olatunji. African drums.
Luke: Pretentious attempt to co-opt another culture in order to hide your own middle class roots.
Grace: You are going to be bleeding soon.
Luke: Feel the power of Metallica, Master of Puppets. The anthem of thrash metal.
Grace: Metallica? That sounds like a band with no hands.

("Celebration starts playing on a nearby stereo)
Both: At least you didn't bring that.
(Pause, they look at each other)
Luke: A shared experience of dissonance creates its own harmony.
Grace: What?
Luke: Harmonic resonance. It's one of the basic laws of physics. Our mutual hatred for Kool and the Gang has formed a harmonic union between us.
Grace: I think I feel it.
Luke: Grace...this is our song.

Grace: You put it on repeat in an attempt to circumvent our five minute make-out rule.
Luke: Free will between the amorous parties supersedes contractual duty, rendering our agreement void ab bi nitio.
Grace: You're impaired, dude.
Luke: Caveat emptor. I have grounds to renegotiate.

Back to the Garden
Luke: Indeterminacy states that the change of a particle, X, is unknown until the outcome is, uh, observed over a certain period of time, T.
Grace: Showoff.

Glynis: If you’re concerned that working with me will be awkward, I can assure you I’ve moved on. And on…and on.
Luke: It’s not that. It’s just, uh, Grace wanted some help on a project.
Grace: I don’t need your help pencil neck. Never will.

Grace: Are you fondling my ankles?
Luke: Yes, I am.
Grace: Look, if you can’t handle the terms, the terms which you agreed to, then maybe you can’t handle me.

Luke: Before you get mad…
Grace: What are you doing?
Luke: I need to talk.
Grace: Girardi, waiting outside the girls’ bathroom is a little stalky.

Grace: This is about my privacy and you not respecting it, that’s all.
Luke: Ok, fine. Then be private, and alone, because clearly that’s what you want.

Luke: I thought about it, and I do want to work within your terms.
Grace: Well you shouldn’t. It’s totally unfair.
Luke: See, that's the thing. I don't think they are. I mean, basically, I've been asking for a total regime change in your public and personal life. But you know what? I looked up every major political revolution in the last hundred years, and not even the most violent ones were sudden. You know, they built up over years of dissatisfaction and unrest.
Grace: Did you make a special effort not to use a science metaphor?
Luke: I'm trying to expand my range.

Grace: What's this?
Luke: It's a seedling, for a sunflower. It's hard to believe they can grow up to eight feet tall. I stole it from Joan.

The Cat
Luke: …and she just - she just sunk to the floor, you know, like eyes wide. I just, I kinda shut down and watched like it wasn’t real.
Grace: Dude, weird.
Luke: That’s it? Weird? My aunt almost died and that’s all you can say?
Grace: Okay, Bruce Banner, relax.

Grace: Gravity_boy has logged off?
Luke: Joan was trying to bust me for looking at porn.
Grace: You were looking at porn while we were online?
Luke: No! Do…do you want me to?

The Election
Grace: Dude, your sister is looking to support the corrupt political system at Arcadia High, which is totally symptomatic of the larger political...
Luke: (inturrupting) Are we ever gonna talk about your mom?
Grace: (hesitates) No...
Luke: Grace, you IMed me that your mom's an alcoholic. I know you wanna talk about it.
Grace: (long pause) I just wanted you to know.

Luke: The latest polls don't look good.
Joan: Well they will if we find something on Lars. Whatever it takes. It's the only way to beat these guys.
Grace: Horses head always works.
Joan: Thought you were the poster girl for apathy?
Luke: She was hit by a wave of school spirit.
Joan: (suspiciously) She told you?
Luke: ...I gleaned it.

Luke: You know, statistically, this last campaign thrust has less than a 13% chance of success.
Grace: You do realize I don't understand half of what you say?




Wealth of Nations

Grace: Dude, it's like a pet cemetery in here.
Luke: Lischak gave me the key. Science student of the year does have its privileges.
Grace: This is so the beginning of a Stephen King novel.
Luke: Where were you last night? I IM’d you a thousand times.
Grace: Oh, my mom was in rare form. Doing her Judy Garland act. Lots of singing, lots of falling down, me putting her in the shower.
Luke: Where was your dad?
Grace: He works late so he doesn't have to deal. It's their little unspoken bargain. As long as she's sober at temple, runs her meetings, and has everybody snowed, she... (Luke is looking at her) don't look all simpy. I'm used to it.
Luke: Maybe you should talk to somebody.
Grace: Why? I'm almost out of there.
Luke: It's 2 more years. That's 15 percent of your life so far.
Grace: (Changes the subject) The test is on Thursday. Let's cram. (They sit down) Dark matter, black holes. Lay it on me.
Luke: Their gravity is so strong that they pull in anything that gets close to them... You know, you don't have to be embarrassed to talk to me about this-
Grace: (She changes the subject again by giving him a kiss) How's that for gravitational pull?
(They kiss again)

Grace: No sucky-face yet, bone rack. We have a physics midterm in 2 days, and I know less about Planck's constant than that lobster... or is that 2 frogs?
Luke: That's not why I'm here. (Hands her a pamphlet)
Grace: 'Alateen?' You blabbed about me... to a roomful of freaks?
Luke: I picked it up at the public library, and they're not freaks. They're kids like us.
Grace: Dude, have you been inhaling the formaldehyde? There's no way I'm doing this.
Luke: Go to one meeting.
Grace: I've been through it all, Girardi. There is nothing new they can tell me.
Luke: You've been through it by yourself. It doesn't have to be that way anymore.

Grace: (Whispering) This is just too weird, Girardi.
Leader: Anybody else?
Grace: (Stands up) Hi, my name is Grace.
All: Hi, Grace.
Grace: Uh... Nothing leaves this room, right? Because I will hunt you people down. (Off of their reassuring look) Uh... (Softly) my mother is an alcoholic. (Luke takes her hand and Grace looks at him and smiles) And this is… my boyfriend... Luke.
All: Hi, Luke.
(Luke stands up, surprised. He and Grace look at each other)



P.O.V.
Joan: Adam, Yes, you can. Just act natural.
Grace: That's an oxymoron. The minute you turn on a camera, you're distorting reality. It's Heisenberg's uncertainty principle.
Joa: You sound like my brother.
Grace: Then I will shut up ... and I will walk away.

Luke: You keeping a journal?
Grace: Yeah. But it's mostly free-form swearing. I'm just not the journal type.
Luke: You gotta keep at it, Grace. Remember the 7 C’s for dealing with an alcoholic parent: You can't control it. You can't cure it. You can't feel responsible.
Grace: That's not a "C."
Luke: The "C" is in the "can't." And you know you want to change your life, or else you wouldn't have gone to the Alateen meeting-
Grace: [talking over him] Ohh! Don't pretend like you know me. You know? Just because you did some good little deed doesn't give you the right to get all up in my face.

Luke: [sighs] I think it's really admirable that you want to talk, Grace.
Grace: Who said anything about talkin'? (She kisses him but he pushes her away) You'd rather talk than make out? I think you're the one that needs the help, Girardi.
(Grace starts to laugh and moves in for another kiss but Luke pushes her away)
Luke: No! I'm not gonna let you use our make out time as a cudgel to avoid this issue.
Grace: See, this is why I don't talk to anyone. 'Cause now we're all about her. That stupid fifth "c" is how the alcoholic is controlling my life. Well, I'm not gonna let her. Ok?
Luke: She already is! Look at us!
Grace: Only 'cause you can't get off it!
Luke: Ok. So, let me come over to your house, and we'll hang out. Grace: This conversation is over.
(Grace starts to leave but Luke grabs her arm and pulls her around to face him)
Luke: Can't you see what you're letting her do to you?!
Grace: It's my space! I made the choice! Me!
Luke: I think you really believe that you're strong. But you're more terrified than anyone I know.
(Luke leaves and Grace slams the door after him, looking upset.)

(The door to Grace's room opens and Grace and Luke enter. Luke looks around).
Grace: Speak, creep.
Luke: I like it. It's, uh... it's a little... tidier than I thought it'd be.
Grace: I'm not tidy. I just... thought you should be able to walk in here, that's all.
Luke: That's nice. Thanks.
Grace:"Nice. Tidy." Do you have a death wish?
Luke: (Looks across the room) Oh, dude! "Splash." The original beanie baby. (On her bureau is a whale beanie baby, next to the geode from "The Gift.")
Grace: It was the first inflationary bubble of our lifetime. My mom stood in line at 5:00 in the morning to get the second run. It opened my eyes to the dangers of capitalism.
Luke: I have "Pinchers."
Grace: The lobster?
Luke: Originally released under the name "Punchers." Retired in 1987, which briefly inflated the price to over $5,000. A classic lesson that any economic system is subject to the whims of human emotion.
Grace: And easily exploited by the rapacious elite.
Luke: The cool calculation of science meets the heated imprecision of economic theory.
(They kiss and a door closes downstairs)
Grace�s Mom: (off camera) Grace! I'm home!
Luke: I'll sneak out the window.
(Luke gets up and Grace follows him).
Grace: No. Stay.
(They kiss again)




Friday Night
Grace: [Breaking a kiss] They are so seriously twisted, dude.
Luke: Why do you care if Joan and Adam go on a date? [Leans in to kiss her]
Grace: [Pulling away] Because, they're just mindlessly following these random, sociological constructs.
Luke: Well...I was gonna ask you out...tonight.
Grace: Who do you think you're twisting tongues with, dude?
Luke: Schlock festival at the Arrow, the all-time worst films: Plan 9, Robot Monster, Catwoman From the Moon. I mean, these are serious classics.
Grace: I have a meeting tonight. [Holds up an "Anarchists Unite" pamphlet]
Luke: Anarchists Unite? Isn't that contradictory?
Grace: Anarchy is about shedding false conceptions, so it is not at all contradictory, brain drain. Maybe if you came, you would be less politically dense ...
Luke: Well, anarchists should have an appreciation for the chaotic ineptitude of schlock cinema. It's the very definition of anarchy.
Grace: Don't twist political philosophy to manipulate me into a date.
Luke: Well, isn't that what you're doing? Trying to get me to your meeting.

Luke: Grace? I went to the anarchy meeting looking for you?
Grace: Well, I came to the movies. [Pause] What happened to your shoes?
Luke: They were made by, uh, kids in Central America; I burned them.
[Grace smiles and stands; they meet in the row and kiss, standing in front of the movie screen]
Audience Member: Hey, lovebirds, sit down.
[Grace glares before tossing popcorn at him. Luke and Grace leave the theater]

Friedman [to Luke and Grace]: Just give it up; hold hands or something. [Takes both their hands and entwines them before giving both a hug].




No Future
Luke: Look, I know it's a lot to ask.
Grace: Dude... licking your floors would be a lot to ask.
Luke: No. It's one dinner.
Grace: No!
Luke: It's my birthday dinner. My dad makes Lasagne.
Grace: I'll get you a present. Besides, someone we knew is actually dead. How can you even think of celebrating?
Luke: It's dinner, Grace. You know, nobody's going to do the limbo or wear stupid hats.
Grace: You know, once your sister knows, the world knows. We might as well get married.
Luke: Joan won't figure it out.
Grace: Oh, yeah. She's not that stupid.
Luke: Stupid, no. Self-absorbed? Paris Hilton has more perspective. Look, I'll say we have to study later. It's my 16th birthday, you know, the one where you get a car. I mean, I'm just getting a diving watch. But, still, it's a watershed event.
Grace: I thought you were afraid of the ocean.
Luke: Grace, this is what I want for my birthday, ok? Not a present, not a rain check, not 5 more minutes of make-out time.
Grace: (She whispers, Cutting him off) Shut up!
Luke: This is a deal-breaker, Grace.

Grace: I will not sing. I will not wear a dress.
Luke: What?
Grace: Those are the terms.
Luke: So you're saying yes?
Grace: And it has nothing to do with that asinine threat. I will do all the breaking up around here. Got it?
[Grace leaves as Luke smiles]
Luke: Absolutely.

Grace: I got you something, too. [Grace unfolds and holds up the confidentiality contract]
Luke: Our secrecy contract.
[Grace rips it in half, smiles, and kisses Luke. As they separate, Joan looks extremely surprised]




Book of Questions
Luke: Grace! So what can I do?
Grace: Hmm?
Luke: For your bat mitzvah.
Grace: Nothing. I- I just want it to come and go quickly like Hoobastank.
Friedman: Savor it, Marge. I tell you, when the hora starts, you're up in that chair... now, that's a rush.
Glynis: But don't crowd surf. The elderly aren't prepared for it.
Grace: Look, just come to my stupid party, laugh at the chocolate fountain, make fun of my relatives, and if you're good, maybe we can make out behind the DJ booth.
Friedman: Sweet!
Grace and Luke: Shut up, Friedman.

Joan: Cool. So what are you wearing?
Grace: A dress.
Joan: You're... wearing a dress.
Grace: Oh, nice smirk. Thanks for the help.

Friedman: I'm thinking ten shares of eBay. It's practical yet romantic.
Luke: Are you insane?
Friedman: Why not? The teitelbaums gave me 10 shares of halliburton. Talk about the gift that keeps on giving...
Luke: I'm not giving grace stock.
Glynis: Ooh! You could give her a bran muffin.
Luke: Why would I do that?
Glynis: Oh, 'cause that's what you got me when we were going out, except you were low on cash and I had to pay.
Friedman: Lingerie.
Luke: For a bat mitzvah?
Friedman: Exactly. The lady is becoming a woman. Am I not good?
Glynis: The muffin was a little stale. I'm not bitter, though.
Friedman: Is a moped too expensive? Dude...the Friedman knows what to choose for the chosen people!

Grace: The whole concept of a dress is a sexist symbol of thousands of years of reducing women to fetish objects.
Joan: This would look so hot on you!
Grace: Have you been listening at all?
Joan: Yeah, angry, angry, angry, society, angry, politics. [She drapes a red dress over Grace's shoulders] Here! Try this on. Look, Grace, this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, you know, like a wedding! Except lots of people do that more than once, so it'll be even better.

Friedman: Ok, this one's pretty nifty. It's got Jerusalem embroidered on it, matching kippah. Smoking hot.
Luke: People really give these?
Friedman: I got five.
Luke: And you like them?
Friedman: Like them? They're bar mitzvah presents. Nobody likes them. They simply exist, like Stonehenge. Consider the candlestick, a popular Shabbat favourite. [Off of Luke's puzzled look] Shabbat-- lighting of the candles, Friday night...
Luke: But she doesn't do that.
Friedman: Then she can use it to kill colonel mustard in the library. Dude, you are so over-thinking this.
Luke: I just- I can't give her some random thing, you know? I should give her something that when she looks at it, she thinks of me. Even when she's 90.
Friedman: There's always the giant sea turtle.

Friedman: We could go kama sutra. You said you wanted personal. If that's not personal, I don't know what is.
Luke:Friedman, this is a religious event! It's got deeper meaning than…[Glances at book]...remarkably limber. No. [Luke picks up an Astronomy book]
Friedman: An astronomy text? That's relationship suicide.
Luke: I don't know. I mean... we met in science class.
Friedman: My god, it's used! Grandparents wouldn't give that.

Luke: [Has the astronomy book opened] Perfect. I found it. There's no- no admonitions, Friedman. I am committed.

Joan: It was so weird. The other day, her mom was like this regular, normal mom, then today...
Luke: I've never seen her mom when she's been drinking. I've only been to her place a couple of times.
Joan: She was a totally different person. So sad. If this happens all the time, you should have told me.
Luke: Grace made me promise not to say anything.
Joan: I'm her best friend. I should have known!
Luke: And I'm her boyfriend. Look, I got her to go to A-La-Teen so she could start dealing with it. You just have to give her time.
Joan: Time? Luke, she already put off her Bat Mitzvah.
Luke: She's put it off before, probably for the same reason.
Joan: Luke, she has to do this!
[Grace enters]
Grace: Why the hell did you come to my house? [To Luke] Did you tell her, freak?
Luke: No.
Joan: No! He didn't say anything. I just wanted to talk to you. You wouldn't call me back.
Grace: And you couldn't take a hint this is none of your business? [To Luke] And it's none of yours anymore either. We're done. [Turns to leave]
Luke: Grace, I'm sorry.

Joan: Why are you running away? You don't seem to mind getting in people's faces except for when it matters!
Grace: Oh, save it.
Joan: You hide Luke- which, yeah, ok, I kinda understand- but you hide your mom, you hide all the important stuff, Grace. I'm not Jewish, but it seems to me this whole bat mitzvah thing is about standing up and declaring yourself! Getting in people's faces for real!
Luke: [From the stairs] Grace. I already got you a present.
[Grace is visibly moved]

Grace: Anyway, basically me and my dad have been fighting about this day since I hit the double digits. And, uh... I won't go into it. It was a political thing. And a daughter of a rabbi thing. But finally I...gave in and indulged them one last empty ritual before I'm outta here. But then, um... not to get all gooey... when you handed me the Torah, it hit me that... this is a genius way of attacking adulthood. I mean, this scroll... there are no easy answers in here. It's basically a book of questions... something that makes us keep searching for a way to make sense of this mess. And just dealing with a lot of questions, that takes a lot of guts when there's no guarantee that there will be answers. And, uh, I just hope I'm up for it. So... fire up that cheesy music, and let's eat.

Grace: Those pictures are gonna surface one day. Bat mitzvah vets for truth are gonna ruin my life.

Grace: Told you not to get me anything.
Luke: Just come on.
Grace: Alone in the dark? This better not be something Friedman suggested.
Luke: Ok, look up. [She looks at him]No, no, no. Right over there, above the constellation Leo.
Grace: My neck is cramping.
Luke: Look! Did you see that? [A shooting star]
Grace: How did you get them to do that?
Luke: It's the Leonid meteor shower. Happens every year or so. So you'll never forget tonight. I mean, it was either this or... Shabbat candlesticks.
Grace: Oh! Look! There's another one!
Luke: You know, there's a theory that... that all organic matter on earth, life, may have come from those. Wonder if we'll ever know.




Dive
Grace: So we got home from the bat mitzvah. She drags out the photo album and gets totally hammered while narrating the complete Polonsky family history, starting in Poland. I heard her even through the headphones in my room.
Luke: I don't know how you put up with that.
Grace: Like I have a choice?
Luke: Isn't that what your bat mitzvah was all about? Taking responsibility?

Luke: Of all people, I think you would have the courage to make her get help! What are you so afraid of?
Grace: [Stands up] What the hell do you know about courage, dude? You hide in your head. You're obsessed with science and formulas and mind games so that you don't really have to live. Have you ever taken a risk ever?
Luke: Grace-
Grace: The most you're ever gonna be is a pathetic science teacher who never really went for what he really wanted.

Luke: You know, I've structured my whole life to be risk-free, never allowing for a situation where I might fail. So I've cut out whole realms of experiences that I want to be a part of. I just... I just don't want to live half a life anymore.

[Grace is at the door to Luke's room]
Grace: I was in the neighbourhood.
Luke: Really?
Grace: No, but... makes this easier, so go with it. Ok. Look, just... forget that stupid diving team. That whole rant, that was- I was- I mean I- are you gonna make me go on?
Luke: No.
Grace: Okay. I talked to my mom...finish your homework.

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Quotes Season 1 (H-R)

Quotes- Season One

The Fire and the Wood
Grace: Wood doesn?t actually burn.
Joan: That's insane.
Grace: What burns is the gas released when the wood gets hot. Therefore, the reactions would have to be gasification, through oxidation reduction then combustion.
Luke: It is so hot you know that.

Touch Move
Grace: Do you smell that? It's like essence of pimp.

Bringeth it On
Luke: (about the science fair) I thought this thing was, like, months from now.
Friedman: Yeah, which is barely enough time to compile sufficient data. Unless, of course, you and Avril LeGrace over there want to try to get electricity from a potato.
Luke: You know, Grace Polk is a lot smarter than people think.

Grace: Hey geek!
Luke: Sorry. I can't be late for homeroom.
Grace: Ok, that's pathetic.

Luke: Hey! Um, I'm actually sort of surprised to see you here.
Grace: Maybe I'm an incurable optimist. Maybe I think there's still hope. Maybe I think someone won't show up.
Luke: Why do you care? I mean, empirically speaking, you wouldn't care unless you were emotionally invested...you like my sister.
Grace: First, I don't like anyone. In her better moments your sister didn't make me want to puke.

Luke: Would you do me the honors of applying with me as my partner for the 2004 Arcadia High science fair?
Adam: Yeah, sure.
Luke: Actually, I meant...
Grace: Did you say something?
Luke: Um, I was just wondering if you wanted to apply for the science fair together...with me, as uh, as my partner? If, if you're interested.
Grace: Isn't that thing months from now?
Luke: There's gonna be like, a total feeding frenzy.
Grace: I don't plan ahead. Ask when it's closer.
Luke: So you're saying it's possible?
Grace: In theory, if you stop acting like such a loser.
Luke: Okay. Awesome.

Death Be Not Whatever
Joan: The kid is obsessed with death. Isn't that strange?
Grace: No stranger than being obsessed with this stuff, like Atom Boy.
Luke: I heard that.

The Uncertainty Principle
Joan: You want to wake me when you get to the point?
Luke: Right, so I asked Grace to do this thing with me, and at the time she said yes...sort of, but...
Joan: Wait. Grace Polk said yes? To you?
Luke: It was somewhat contingent, but essentially, yeah.
Joan: Aww, she's so gonna get it.
Luke: But, see, I don't know if she remembers me asking, so do I have to do the full re-approach or...
Joan: Now, what is she gonna wear? Because they don't make gowns out of fatigues.
Luke: What are we talking about?
Joan: You asked Grace Polk to the semi-formal.
Luke: I asked her to be my partner for the science fair.
Joan: Wow. Science really is like sex to you isn't it?

Luke: Um, hey. So, uh, I was wondering if you...how you were feeling about the, uh...
Grace: What is it with these sanctioned mating rituals that make everyone drool over each other like zombies?
Luke: Oh, no, that's actually not what I'm talking...ok. Um, remember when I asked you about the science fair?
Grace: I already said I'd do that. Why are you getting all sweaty?
Luke: You said to check back with you. I wasn't sure.
Grace: I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like I'm gonna be any help.
Luke: Don't worry about that. I have like, a file folder of ideas.
Grace: Whatever. As long as I don't have to wear a dress.
Luke: Yeah, me too. (pause) Not that I would ever...wear a dress, but...
Grace: It's okay, man.

Luke: Now, it's boldly retro, but I was thinking something involving Heisenberg's uncertainty principle.
Grace: And that would be?
Luke: Glad you asked. Ok, you know that solar system model of an atom you learned in the fifth grade? You know, the one with the nucleus here and the little electrons rotating around it? Heisenberg says that's crap. There is no little nucleus, or at least there's no way to determine where a nucleus is with any certainty, and why, you ask?
Grace: Not really.

Grace: What's this?
Luke: That's a rail gun. You use electromagnetic currents to basically shoot a slug.
Grace: That sounds cool. Let's do that.

Friedman: So, guess we won't be seeing you at the dance tomorrow night?
Grace: Says who?
Friedman: It's an assumption based on the unlikely hypothesis of you wearing a dress.
Grace: Well guess what, Galileo? You're assumptions suck. And we'll see you at the dance. Now beat it before I give you a wedgie.

Luke: Are we going to the Crystal Ball?
Grace: Must've got caught up in the testosterone.

Luke: Um, did you wanna take off your coat?
Grace: Cool it, horndog. I'm not there yet.


Jump
Luke: Ah, Grace, good. As you can see, I've entered in four more equations for Heisenberg's gamma ray experiment.
Grace: Whoop-di-doodilly-doo.

Luke: Look, I've...I've really enjoyed our collaboration. I feel our intellects and approaches really complement each other, and I was...you know, hoping you felt the same way.
Grace: Stop, stop. You're embarrassing me with your dirty talk.

Luke: So, Grace wants me to make this stupid rail gun that probably won't even work anyway, or I can salvage my dignity and work with Friedman.
Kevin: No contest.
Luke: Yes, of course. Yet, all I see is contest.
Kevin: Either get over your fear of women, or resign yourself to looking at boobs on the internet for the rest of your life.
Luke: Point of order, that's Friedman, not me. And not everything is about sex.
Kevin: Well not everything is about science.

Grace: Hey, geek.
Luke: Oh, Grace. Uh, I was afraid your father wouldn't give you the message.
Grace: Yeah. Thanks for leaving a message with my father, the rabbi, saying you want to spend the night with me building a gun?

Grace: So what you're telling me, dog, is there's no downside. Hmm?

Luke: Can't un-ring a bell, baby.


Requiem for a Third Grade Ashtray
Joan: Luke lent you his lab notebook?
Grace: I still have pull.


The Gift
Grace: You were getting all poetic there for a minute, Spock.
Luke: No, I just...you know.
Grace: Actually, no.
Luke: You mean you haven't ever walked by something and you just had this feeling that someone you knew would absolutely love it?
Grace: Are you interested in somebody else already?
Luke: I'm just having a theoretical discussion.
Grace: So there is somebody. Guys should be sprayed down with cold water like, every hour.

(After Luke gives Grace the geode)
Grace: Okay, dude. This is just weird.
Luke: Yeah, I know. I don't care.


Silence
Grace: Why did you give me that rock?
Luke: It's a geode.
Grace: To me it's a rock. Why?
Luke: It was a gesture...of friendship. Possibly courtship.
Grace: Courtship? That went out with the corset or the walkman or something.
Luke: I don't follow trends.

Grace: I have a reputation. I've worked hard to build it. Do you know what my reputation is?
Luke: You hate me?
Grace: I'm anti.
Luke: Okay. Anti what?
Grace: What have you got?
Luke: So you're never gonna fall in love?
Grace: I'm never even gonna fall in like.

Luke: What do you care what people think? I mean, if you're anti. Shouldn't you like the idea of us, if you're so anti?
Grace: I'm not that anti.
Luke Oh, so you're moderately anti?

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Reasons (H-R)

Reasons

1. Because you can't unring a bell.
2. Because not everything is about science.
3. Because he knew she'd love the geode.
4. Because she still had pull.
5. Because he's a service provider.
6. Because he told her it was hot that she knew that what burns is the gas released when the wood gets hot. Therefore the reaction would have to be gasification, through oxidation reduction, then combustion.
7. Because science really is like sex to Luke.
8. Because relationships that work don't always make sense.
9. Because he got Grace to the Crystal Ball without ever asking.
10. Because he's a moose, not an elk.
11. Because a gift should just happen, shouldn't it?
12. Because he looked where no one else would look.
13. Because he's a horndog.
14. Because no one else could get away with fondling her ankles.
15. Because nobody messes with her Luke.
16. Because she's seen his baby pictures.

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Relationship Timeline (H-R style)

Season 1

The Fire and the Wood
Grace and Luke are in the same AP Chemistry class.

At a study session at the Girardis', Luke observes Grace pointing out that wood doesn’t actually burn and is apparently attracted to her intelligence.

Grace, in her own special way, offers to open a jar Luke was struggling with.

Touch Move
In chemistry class, Grace, in typical little-boy-likes-little-girl fashion, throws spit wads at Luke and makes fun of his aftershave.


Bringeth it On
In chemistry class, Luke defends Grace’s intelligence in front of the whole class when Friedman makes a joke about it. Grace seems surprised.

Friedman also gives Luke a hard time for liking Grace, since he thinks she’s gay.

Grace turns to Luke when she fears Joan is falling into the “popular” crowd.

Luke goes to Kevin for advice about his feelings with the infamous “moose-elk” talk.

After Joan’s cheerleading tryouts, where Grace fiercely denied to Luke that she “likes” anyone, Luke asks her to be his partner for the school Science Fair. She tells him she doesn’t plan ahead, and to check back. Excited with her “maybe” answer, Luke scurries off with a big grin. Grace sits on the steps with a small smile and watches him leave.

Death Be Not Whatever
In chemistry class, Grace makes a remark about being obsessed with science, calling Luke “Atom Boy.”

The Uncertainty Principle
Luke reproaches Grace about the science fair. She tells him she already agreed to do it.

While in the cafeteria discussing the project, Friedman makes fun of them with some crack about Grace not wearing a dress. Grace gets annoyed tells Friedman that they’ll see him at the dance, therefore inadvertently asking Luke to the dance.

At the dance, Friedman once again gives Luke a hard time for being there with Grace. Grace overhears this and grabs Luke and kisses him.

Jump
Luke and Grace continue to work on their science fair project.
When the FBI seizes Luke’s computer, Grace tells him that they should build a rail gun instead.

After receiving an offer to join Friedman’s team, Luke once again asks Kevin’s advice. Kevin basically tells Luke to get over his fear of women and work on the rail gun.

Luke and Grace stay up all night working on the rail gun which, to their surprise, works…sort of.

Recreation
Luke steals a glance at Grace at the anti-drug lecture gone awry.

At the party, Grace seems really interested in looking at Luke’s baby pictures.

After everyone’s left the party, Luke is sprawled out on the couch and it’s Grace’s turn to steal a glance at him.

State of Grace
Friedman convinces Luke to give up on Grace and go after Glynis.

Before the debate, Luke confronts Glynis and they share a really awkward kiss. Luke turns to watch Glynis as she scurries off down the hall, only to see that Grace witnessed the whole thing. Grace manages to maintain a nearly unreadable reaction, though she does look at least slightly hurt.

Requiem for a Third Grade Ashtray
Grace tells Joan that Luke lent her his lab notebook, saying she “still has pull.”

Anonymous
While passing by Luke and Glynis, Grace makes a remark about how she didn’t think they would last as long as they have and refers to Glynis as “ostrich.”

Vanity, Thy Name is Human
Luke finally breaks it off with Glynis.

The Gift
Luke joins Joan, Adam, and Grace’s study group because of the tension with Glynis.
After going on a spiel about how a gift should just "happen," Luke let’s Grace know that he’s still interested in her by giving her a geode. Grace seems sincerely touched by the gesture, but tells him that it’s weird. He knows, but doesn’t care.

Silence
While walking home from the hospital, Grace confronts Luke about why he gave her the geode. He tells her it was a gesture of friendship. Possibly courtship. Grace argues reasons why the idea is ridiculous, but Luke doesn’t buy any of them. After a final, failed attempt to push him away, Grace finally gives in and they make out as some random pedestrian walks by and stares at them.


Season 2

Only Connect
Luke and Grace make out behind a brick wall of a little sidewalk café type of place. When she tells him that time’s up, it spawns a little argument about a confidentiality contract she made him sign.

They are now in the same AP Physics class. During Lischak’s opening lecture, Luke steals glances at Grace, who glares at him (albeit with a hint of a smile).

When Grace accidentally snaps a rubber band at Glynis, she makes a snappy comment to Luke about his ‘soul mate’ attacking her. Luke protests, as per the agreement.

Friedman, being totally committed to the “Grace is a lesbian” thing, makes a joke about her “liking the other equipment. She hits him with a rubber band.

They make out at their little hiding place again. At one point, both of them share the same kiss-buzzed-mushy-brain smile. Then Grace brings up finding a new place because of the security guard that drives around.

As the whole AP Physics gang is walking down the hallway, Glynis makes faces at Grace behind her back and Friedman makes yet another lesbian joke. Luke seems to have had enough of that and yells at Friedman to back off. Everyone stares at him and he rushes off.

That night, Grace comes in through Joan’s window and asks if she’s in love with Rove, wanting to know how she knows for sure, and says that it feels kind of like a breakdown. Joan figures out that Grace is talking about herself and asks if she’s in love. Grace responds by putting a lampshade on her head. Joan says if there is someone, she thinks she should know. Grace responds by leaving through the window, saying she was never there.

Kevin lets Luke know that he’s figured out about his secret relationship with Grace and that he needs to stand up to her, and “be a man.”

Luke goes over to Grace’s house with the intention to take Kevin’s advice, but ends up with Grace telling him he’s dead and slamming the door in his face.

Out of Sight
Grace tells Luke that if they can't find some common ground through music, they're toast.

That night they meet and exchange mix CDs. Grace isn't satisfied with Luke's hip hop, classical, or Metallica, and Luke is definitely less than thrilled with Grace's 33 West and Olatunji. When it looks like they're out of luck, some kids come by with a stereo playing Kool and the Gang's "Celebration." Both of them hate it, and find common ground in their mutual hatred. Luke tells Grace that that's their song. They kiss.

At Judith's party, Luke tries conversing with Grace, who points out that contact at parties is a violation of their contractual agreement.

Luke goes into the house and puts "Celebration" on the stereo, and sets it to repeat, before walking off to some unknown corner of the house. Grace hears the song, looks up, and sees Luke standing at a window, nodding for her to follow him. She does, and they make out some more.

Back to the Garden
In gym class, the kids are all discussing their Physics assignment to determine indeterminacy. Luke tries to get Grace to work with him, but she won't. Luke doesn't see the problem, since they worked together on the science fair last year. Grace tells him that if he can't handle the terms of their agreement, then maybe he can't handle her.

Later on, Luke waits for Grace outside the girls restroom. She's miffed that he's waiting around, and tells him it's a little stalker like. She tells him to back off unless he wants make-out time cut. Luke, finally fed up, tells her that it's about more than making out. They have a relationship, which she doesn't deny. He tells her that she may have said he couldn't handle her, but he thinks she's the one who can't handle him. Grace responds by telling Luke that it's about her privacy and that's it. Luke tells her to be private, and alone then, because that seems to be what she wants. Grace stands there for a moment, obviously hurt, before walking off.

The next day, Luke is waiting on the stairs when Grace walks by. He apologizes and says that he's decided he can deal with her terms. She finally admits to her mistake and tells him that he shouldn't have to deal with them because they're not fair. He tells her that no revolution has occurred overnight, they have to build up and he's willing to wait for it. He gives her a sunflower that he stole from Joan's garden project. They proceed to walk down the hall, in conversation. In public.

The Cat
As Luke and Grace are walking down the hall at school, Luke is telling her about his aunt who just had a stroke. He tells her that she almost died and all he could do was just stand there, like it wasn't real. Her only response is "Dude...weird." Luke gets a little annoyed, and tells her that they should be able to talk to each other about this sort of thing. Joan walks up behind them, interrupting them and noting that is "looks like [they are] into something deep there." Grace tells her that Luke was trying to get her to work on the science fair with him again. Luke plays along, rambling about how the competition is fierce. Joan ignores him and continues on, still oblivious to their relationship.

The following night, after a conversation with their aunt, Joan comes up to Luke's room to ask him if he thinks they'll ever find love. At that exact moment, Grace sends Luke an instant message. She tells him that she knows she's a jerk, but there are things that she doesn't tell people, she can't. When it looks like she's about to confess something to him, Joan accuses him of looking at porn and rushes over to check the monitor. To avoid getting caught talking to Grace, Luke quickly closes out of the conversation and logs off.

The next day, Grace comes out of the office with a late slip and sees Luke walk by. She hurries to catch up with him and confronts him about logging off the night before. He says that Joan was trying to bust him for looking at porn. Grace, rather surprised, asks if he was looking at porn while they were online. He says no, pauses for a moment, then asks if she wants him too. She chuckles a little, shakes her head, and smirks. He tells her it was a one time occurrence, but if she has something to say to him she should just say it. For a second she looks as if she wants to tell him something, but sees Joan hanging on Adam and takes the opportunity to make a snarky comment and take off.

Early the next morning, Luke is getting ready for school when he hears an instant message alert. He rolls over his bed and looks at the screen to see a message from Grace that simply says: "My Mother drinks." Luke is stunned. He gets ready to reply, but Grace logs off before he can do so.

At the school, Grace is standing at her locker when she sees Luke heading down the hall. She tosses her bag inside and closes the locker, turns, and takes off, trying to get away. Luke catches up with her and touches her arm. She turns around and looks up at him, with tears in her eyes, then takes off again. He follows.

Grace leads Luke into an empty classroom. She stands there for a moment before looking up at him, with a look that shows fear, pain, vulnerability, and even a hint of shame. He looks at her sympathetically and slowly pulls her into a hug. With her defenses completely down, Grace puts her head on Luke's shoulder and quietly breaks down.

The Election
Luke and Grace are sitting and standing, respectively, on a staircase. Grace is rambling about Joan getting involved in the school election. Luke gently interrupts and asks if they’re going to talk about her mom. Grace looks around for a second before replying with a soft, slightly broken “No.” He tells her that he knows she wants to talk about it, because she sent him that message. For several seconds Grace looks as though she wants to say something, but just can’t find the words, as being this open is a relatively new experience. She finally tells Luke that she just wanted him to know before taking off.

The next day at school, Grace catches up with Luke and Friedman, who are walking down the hall with a copy of Brian Beaumont’s mission statement. One of Lars’ goons, accompanied by his buddy, walks up and takes the mission statement from Luke, telling him that carrying it around could be hazardous to his health. Grace quickly interjects, calling the bully a nimrod. Luke tells Grace to leave it alone, but she won’t. She tells Luke that they won’t do anything, “These losers have some archaic rule where they never hit a girl.” Sure enough, Bully A’s friend steps in, “As if you’re a girl!” and shoves Grace into the wall, quite hard, and knocks her to the ground. Luke freaks and shoves Bully B into the opposite wall. He looks like he’s getting ready to pummel him when Bully A grabs him by the shoulders and heaves him across the room. Luke falls to the floor next to Grace as the two goons walk away. Grace can’t contain herself: “That was beautiful, dude.” They sit there on the floor and laugh about it.

The following day, Grace, Luke, and Joan are sitting at a table in the cafeteria. Luke tells them that the latest polls aren’t looking too good for Brian. Joan says they’ll look better once they can dig up something on Lars. She’s willing to do whatever it takes. Grace (in the most well placed of three Godfather references) tells her a horse’s head is always effective. “Thought you were the poster girl for apathy?” Joan asks. Luke nonchalantly makes a comment about Grace being hit by a wave of school spirit. This warrants Joan’s attention as she eyes Luke suspiciously, “She told you?” Luke says he gleaned it. Grace is failing miserably at looking cool about the whole thing. Joan looks over at her with an equally suspicious expression just as Judith shows up with news about Lars.

The next afternoon, Grace and Luke are in a hallway hanging some more posters for Brian. Luke tells Grace that statistically, their latest move will have less than a thirteen percent change of succeeding. Grace jokes that she never understands half of what he says. She stands there for a second, hesitating, before finally speaking up about her mother. She tells Luke about a time when she was eleven and her friend Becky slept over. They went downstairs for breakfast in the morning, only to find her mother passed out on the kitchen floor from the night before; Becky never spoke to her after that. Luke listens to her tell her story. He doesn’t say anything, but he does look a little happy that she is finally trusting him enough to open up.



Wealth of Nations
Luke and Grace meet in a storage room for the science department, Luke explaining Lishack gave him the key, an advantage of being science student of the year. He asks Grace where she was the previous night, since he IMed her many times without a response. Grace responds fairly comfortably that she was taking care of her mother, since her father works late to avoid dealing with her mom's alcoholism. When Luke suggests Grace talk to someone about it, she writes him off quickly, instead suggesting they study.

After only one statement about black holes, Luke tries again, telling Grace she can talk to him about it. Grace quickly cuts the conversation short by leaning in and kissing Luke passionately, tongue definitely involved. Luke's a bit thrown off and clearly aware Grace is only doing it to avoid the subject. But he doesn't exactly argue when she kisses him again.

Once again in their new hiding place, Luke hands Grace an Alateen flyer. Almost immediately defensive, she worries he "blabbed" about her and tells him she's been through it before; she doesn't need to go to Alateen. Luke responds that Grace has been through it alone; it doesn't have to be that way anymore. Grace just hands him the flyer.

At the Alateen meeting, which seems to be taking place in a church, Grace listens uncomfortably as a teenage boy talks about how his father drinks away his paycheck in one day. When the boy's done and everyone turns to Grace, expecting her to speak, she stands up hesitantly and introduces herself to the group, a chorus of "Hi Grace" following. She hesitantly says that her mother's an alcoholic, and Luke takes her hand. Turning to look at him, she offers him a quick, small smile, and tells the group that he's her "boyfriend, Luke," this marking the first time she's used a gender specific coupling word. Luke looks shocked but recovers quickly, and stands up next to Grace. They look at each other, and the moment's all about them, not the meeting.




P.O.V.
When we first see Grace, she's with Joan. Generally, this wouldn't be included, except she makes a comment to Joan about how telling Adam to 'act' normal goes against Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, and Joan responds that Grace is starting to sound like Luke. It's so, very true. Apparently he's really rubbing off on her. Grace looks surprised and quickly excuses herself.

Next, we're outside the school and Grace walks by Luke, who's talking to some boy about tech stuff- most likely computers, as he's referring to gigabytes. When he sees Grace, he takes off after her, not even saying bye to the kid he was talking to. Together they descend the stairs and walk, as Luke asks Grace how things have been. She remarks they've been great for her mother, who had two bottles of wine at dinner the previous night. Luke asks if she's been keeping her journal, and Grace responds she has, if free form swearing counts. Grace becomes frustrated as Luke lectures her to 'keep at it,' until she blows up and tells him that having done one nice thing for her doesn't give him the right to act like an expert in her life. She storms away, leaving a clearly confused Luke behind.

Later, Grace is in the science storage room, waiting for Luke. He comes in and remarks that it's admirable for her to want to talk to him about her mom. Grace doesn't want to talk, instead pulling Luke into a kiss. He pushes her away and tells her he won't let her use their makeout time to avoid this issue. Grace is upset Luke won't stop talking about it, and Luke responds that Grace's mother's problems are controlling her life. Grace denies this, and Luke comments that they should hang out at Grace's house. She shuts down, saying the conversation's over. As Grace attempts to leave, Luke tells her that she may think she's strong, but she's more terrified than anyone he knows.

Luke's sitting in the library when he gets hit by a paper ball. He turns around to see Grace standing off to the side, and she gestures wildly at the balled up paper. Luke picks it up. It's an invitation to come over to her parent-less house after school. Luke smiles and turns around. She's gone.

A door opens and Luke and Grace step into Grace's room. Luke looks around and Grace tells him to comment. It's more tidy and nicer than he expected. Grace takes these comments to mean Luke has a death wish. Something across the room catches Luke's eye, and he walks away from the door. On the bureau is a whale beanie baby (positioned next to the geode from "The Gift") which Luke picks up. They sit down on Grace's bed as they discuss beanie babies (Luke has "Pinchers," which was worth $5,000 at one point). They start to kiss and a door closes somewhere in the house, followed by the off camera voice of Grace's mom, announcing she's home. Luke jumps up and tells Grace he'll leave through the window, but she quickly catches up to him and requests he 'stay.' They kiss again.




Friday Night
Grace and Luke are making out in the science storage room when Grace pulls back. She's complaining about Joan and Adam, feeding into the normal 'relationship' thing, planning a big date. Luke tells Grace he was going to ask her on a date to the Schlock-Fest, a la Bad Movie Night. Grace says she has a meeting and holds up an "Anarchists Unite" pamphlet. Luke comments on the oxymoron in that, but Grace argues quickly against it and tells Luke not to try to twist politics to get her to go on a date with him. Luke calls her on this, saying she'd also attempted it with him. Grace gets up and leaves, despite Luke's attempts to make her stop.

Luke's waiting outside the Schlock-Fest with Friedman, who is talking about Judith. Friedman tells Luke that the "ectasy of love" leads the will to "desperate undertakings." Luke freezes, obviously thinking about Grace, before telling Friedman he has to go.

At the Anarchists Unite meeting, Luke's walking around, looking for Grace. He realizes all the girls there look like her, and asks one of the girls if she's seen Grace. He tells her she has a jacket and hair like the girl's, and the girl asks Luke if he's saying they're conformists. Luke realizes he's in hot water and backpedals quickly, but ends iup in even more trouble when the guy running the meeting points out Luke's sneakers, which were made by starving children. Luke sacrifices the sneakers.

Meanwhile, Grace is looking for Luke at the Schlock-Fest. There's a kid who looks vaguely like him, and a boy in a mask, who Grace thanks God isn't Luke. Friedman notices her, and Grace realizes she's blown their cover.

Luke arrives back at the Schlock-Fest visibly upset he couldn't find Grace. Inside the theater, Friedman tells Grace he gets it, why she and Luke work together. Luke comes into the theater a moment later and notices Grace. He tells her he went to her meeting looking for her, to which she replies she came to the theater. She notices his lack of sneakers and asks what happened. He tells her about the meeting and she smiles. They kiss. Someone tells them to sit down, and Grace throws popcorn at the guy before they leave.

Back at the Girardis house, Luke, Grace and Friedman are sitting on the front steps when Joan and Helen get home from the hospital after Judith died. Grace goes over to Joan and she, Joan, Luke and Friedman have a tense and depressing conversation in the yard. Later, as Friedman laments over his loss of Judith, he tells Luke and Grace to just hold hands, and physically entwines their hands before enveloping them in a hug.

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Relationship History (H-R style)

Season One


To the casual observer, Luke and Grace don't make sense. But as Helen said, "relationships that work don't always make sense." And Luke and Grace definitely work together. Read their history and decide for yourself.

The Fire and the Wood

The first time we see Grace she's in the office. To the more-than-casual "Joan of Arcadia" watcher, this shouldn't come as a surprise. Anyway, Grace is waiting for a tardy pass from Helen, who asks her why she's late. She's late because she's late, obviously. Grace gets the pass and leaves the class.

It's not until Joan joins AP Chem that we see Grace again. Actually, we see Grace after Joan's joined AP Chem, because, well, Grace is late again. Grace walks in late, goes to her seat in the very back of the classroom, which also happens to be behind Luke's table. Joan's assigned to a seat between Grace and Adam, and then assigned a group project.

Grace, Adam, and Joan meet at the Girardi's house to work on the project. Although Grace asks as if she doesn't care about school or pay attention to people, she's sure as hell noticed Luke. Her advice for Joan is to ask him for answers for their assignment. When Luke enters the kitchen, Grace repeats her request for Joan to ask him. Joan won't though, and oddly enough Grace doesn't press it. Since she doesn't seem like the type to care what people think of her, it's strange she doesn't ask him herself.

Luke's clearly paying attention to the study group though, because he's randomly throwing in comments to add to their discussion. When Grace explains that wood doesn't actually burn, Luke finds it "so hot" that she knows that. Heh. Grace looks at him for a minute, her expression blank.

Maybe a minute later, Luke's struggling with a cookie car by the fridge. Grace glances over and snaps her fingers. Luke, more than a little embarassed, walks over and hands her the jar. Without a pause, Grace opens it as she continues working on the problem and hands the jar back to Luke. Luke's still embarassed as he walks away, and Joan looks disgusted with her brother.

This isn't exactly Luke/Grace centric, but it's interesting that later in the episode, when Joan tells Grace that Adam left his backpack at her house, Grace makes a comment that makes it seem as if Adam's on drugs. At this point, both Becky Wahlstrom (Grace) and Chris Marquette (Adam) were only scheduled for four episodes, and apparently the writers hadn't established their friendship yet.

Touch Move

And this is the episode where I prove how much of a nerd I am. Anyway, we're at Joan's locker in school. Grace comes over and demands Joan tell her brother to stop wearing so much aftershave. Apparently, Grace is allergic, and only has "one working sinus" left. Once again, if Grace doesn't care what people think... exactly why is she going through Joan? If Joan hadn't switched into AP Chem, what would she do then? Anyway, the aftershave is apparently made of 'pickled eggs,' because that's how it smells.

In AP Chem, Grace is still going on about the aftershave, only now it's the "essence of pimp." As she rants and Joan tries to ignore her, Luke's raising the material of his shirt to his nose, clearly worried about Grace's impression of him. This is the last time the aftershave is referred to, so it's safe to assume that Luke stopped wearing it after hearing Grace didn't like it. Aww.

This whole episode has that whole fourth grade "girl likes boy, boy likes girl," hair-tugging feel to it. Grace flicks a small paper ball (think spitball, only without the spit or straw) at Luke as Joan blathers on. Luke spins around in his chair, arms up in a "What the hell?" kind of expression. Grace mimics his facial expression, eyebrows raised. Joan's still blathering, this time about how her type of guy is a wrestler, a la Dax Hibbing, abs, big forearms. Grace adds small cerebral cortex? Now this is where I could rant about how she's saying she'd rather have a smart guy, which she probably is. But whether it's a writer's error or not, cerebral cortex? For those of you not familiar with brain anatomy, this is the part of your brain that makes you identify a brain as such. The greymatter, the folds. But intelligence? Has to do with the folds of the cerebral cortex, not the size. But, uh, moving on. The teacher comes over and ends the discussion, and as we leave the sign, Grace is staring straight ahead... which is conveniently at Luke.




The Boat
Not much Grace in this episode, unfortunately. And absolutely no Luke/Grace. But this is really the first episode where we get a look into Grace's beliefs and anti-government beliefs, as she complains that they're 'under surveillance 80% of the time.' Nothing more to comment on, but this becomes a reoccuring thought of Grace's, so it's worth mentioning.



Just Say No
Once again, there's no Luke/Grace. But in this episode, Grace remarks that Joan has 'no radar' (you know, because Grace has so much herself). And then later, in AP Chem, when Joan's called down to the office, Grace seems almost surprised it's not her. Hee.

Joan's preparing for a yard sale, and Luke's helping her dig through the garage for stuff. It's worth mentioning because at one point, as Joan and Helen are discussing Will's packrat tendencies, Joan picks up a stuffed rabbit. Luke quickly grabs it (it's one of those loud, squeaky stuffed animals) and brings it to his chest, kind of cuddling it and patting it fondly. This is the point where I totally fell in love with a fictional character, because I'm that pathetic.

At the yard sale, Luke walks by a table and informs Joan that she can't lower the price on his geodes, because they're worth "five times that much already." He tries to grab something as Joan shoos him away, and storms off angrily.



Bringeth It On

The episode's second scene has Joan, Grace, and Adam sitting in the Girardi kitchen, studying on a Saturday night. Luke comes into the kitchen and remarks it's a "classic geek misdirect," which is kind of funny since Luke is the family geek. Anyway, he walks over so he's standing behind Grace and tells them he and Friedman are going to the Homecoming game, so if anyone wants to come... He looks at Grace, but she doesn't notice, instead just saying she has better things to do than watching a bunch of "cheerleaders flashing their panties." Gah. Ex-cheerleader here, definitely taking offense to that. First, they aren't panties. Second, it's not flashing. It's an occupational hazard. Sorry, off topic again.

Luke's at the park with Friedman, and Friedman's being himself, crudely remarking on the... assets of some girl. Luke's not interested, and of course, we all know why. He's too into Grace to notice anyone else.

The next Luke/Grace scene's one of my favorites of the show. It's the crew in AP Chem, and some bitchy girl's talking about the baby dumping. Anyway, Grace comes into class late, crashes into Luke's lab setup, and is all, "Oh darn. Now you won't get into Harvard." Luke's all smiley and says "Hey" as Grace walks away. Friedman and Glynis stare at him. A minute later, Glynis asks Luke if he'll partner with her for the science fair. Luke's response is to let her down softly with a "Can I think about it?" Friedman's stunned, and "Dude"s Luke. As all this is going on, Grace responds to the bitchy girl who implied that she and Joan were dating by pouring sulfiric acid into the girl's baking soda test tube, making it bubble. It's interesting how something corrosive can tell you what's something made of, right? Like using gay as an all-purpose insult.

Later, in the Chem Lab, Grace is 'sprucing' her lab notes, which losing her group a letter grade. Friedman's still upset with Luke for turning down Glynis. There's barely enough time to gather data, unless, of course, Luke and "Avril La Grace over there want to try to get electricity from a potato." Luke's angered by this and says loudly that "Grace Polk's a lot smarter than people think." The whole class is surprised by Luke's outburst, and Grace looks around uncomfortably. Luke looks over at her, embarassed. Friedman tells Luke that since he likes Grace, he's "tested positive for the presence of gay." This? Is where my Friedman hate originates.

Grace approaches Luke at his locker, telling him that Cheerleader!Joan needs an intervention. Luke's flustered and uncomfortable around her. Unfortunately, this isn't as sweet as it sounds, because he's taking Friedman's theory seriously, and doesn't want to be seen around Grace. He tells Grace he's got to get to homeroom, since the teacher counts on him to take attendance. Wow. Anyway, Luke tells Grace that "girls do stuff like go get smoothies... seriously, I have to go." As Luke rushes off, Grace looks a little hurt.

Luke comes into Kevin's room with this really screwed up moose analogy. One moose is telling another moose that he's really an elk (since the moose was seen sniffing a flower) and as such should running with another herd. Kevin asks for clarification. "Does it mean I'm gay if I like a lesbian?" Kevin takes him seriously, pointing out only the 'moose' said the girl was a lesbian. He asks Luke when he's alone, passing the time, what does he like to think about? Luke doesn't catch the innuendo behind this. When you're in the shower... Luke's response? "Condalisa Rise. Sigourney Weaver. Christina Ricci. Batgirl." Uh, we get it.

Grace shows up at Joan's cheerleading tryouts and Luke joins her. He's surprised to see her here and what's to know why she cares whether or not Joan shows up. Luke realizes that this must mean Grace is emotionally invested in her relationship with Joan, but somehow misses the friendship part and interprets this to mean that Grace likes Joan. Grace puts him in his place, explaining that in her better moments, Joan hasn't made her want to puke. At this point, Joan enters the gym and starts her cheer, and Grace looks pretty disgusted. But as Joan insults the cheerleaders through her cheer, Grace and Luke are impressed, smiling. When the cheer comes to an end, they jump up, clapping and cheering. It's definitely "a better moment." Unfortunately, Friedman ruins the moment by telling Luke that his sister's "like, hot." Grace tells Friedman he's an ass and takes off. Friedman invites Luke to play "Diablo at Dave's" and Luke looks off in the direction Grace left, not responding.

Outside the school, Grace is sitting on the steps with Adam. Luke walks over nervously. "Would you do me the honor of applying to the 2004 Arcadia High Science Fair?" Adam's puzzled, "Yeah, sure." Grace notices Adam talking and pulls off her headphones, asking Luke if he said something. Luke repeats his question in a much more casual, yet stumbling way. Grace looks at him like he has two heads. That's thing's months from now, and she doesn't plan ahead. She tells him to ask when it's closer. Off Luke's stunned expression: "Are you saying it's possible?" Grace is getting defensive as she starts to put her headphones back on. "In theory, if you stop acting like such a loser." Her eyes are darting back and forth as Luke gets this ego boost. "Okay, awesome," and he walks away. Adam looks at a smiling Grace in shock and Grace shoots him a silencing look. "What?" she asks defensively, putting the headphones back on. Adam looks away, puzzled.

Death Be Not Whatever

We're in AP Chem and Lishack's lecturing on kinetic and potential energy. Luke answers a question, saying that the sexier of the two is "potential, for its chemical bonds being the forces that hold atoms together." Joan tells Grace that the little boy she's been baby-sitting, Rocky, is obsessed with death. Grace says its no stranger than being obsessed with 'this stuff, like Atom Boy.' Luke looks over his shoulder. "I heard that..." If it was normal for a little boy to be obsessed, I could understand Grace's abrupt topic change. But to hear that Rocky's obsessed with death wouldn't have brought up thoughts of Luke, at least not to someone who wasn't secretly obsessed with him. Grace must always be thinking of Luke.




The Devil Made Me Do It

Nothing important in this episode concerning Luke and Grace, but it's an interesting commonality to point out both can juggle. At the beginning of the episode, Helen becomes upset when Grace is 'juggling in ceramics.'

We're also introduced to Grace's father in this episode. Joan goes to Grace's house to ask a favor, but Grace isn't home. Grace's father answers the door but doesn't invite Joan in. Joan mistakenly addresses him as Mr. Polk, but he corrects her, saying "Rabbi Polonski." When Grace was younger, he changed his last name back to the family name, Polonski. Grace, in an act of rebellion, kept Polk.

St. Joan

Joan's in her kitchen and informs her family that she has to go meet Grace. Luke looks up from his breakfast, quickly asking if he can walk with them. Joan, oblivious to Luke's interest, laughs it off. Luke ends up getting a ride to school from Kevin, but I doubt Grace would've minded all that much if she 'had' to walk with Luke. And Luke? Definitely would've been more than happy.

Drive, He Said

It's a case of bad timing in this episode. As Grace shows her first sign of possible interest in Luke (staring at him down the hallway, possibly), Luke's too concerned about his 'pregnant' sister to notice. How ironic...

The Uncertainty Principle

Luke and Joan are walking down the hall as Luke rambles on about his ideas for the science fair. He tells Joan he asked Grace to do 'this thing' with him, and at the time she said yes, but it was contingent. Joan is unaware he's still talking about the science fair, and she interprets this as Grace agreed to go to the Crystal Ball with Luke. She starts to plan on teasing Grace about it, and asks Luke what Grace will wear, since they don't make dresses out of fatigues. Confused, Luke asks Joan what she's talking about. When Joan responds that she's talking about the Crystal Ball, Luke clarifies for her, explaining he meant the science fair. Joan asks "Science really is like sex to you, isn't it?" Luke opens his mouth to respond, but instead says "I don't know how to respond to that." Really, what was he going to do? Deny it? I'm pretty sure that if Luke got the chance, he'd have sex with Grace. Anyway, Joan tells Luke he should do himself a favor and "put on some stupid clothes and go grope each other in the gym." Joan doesn't seem all that surprised by Luke's interest in Grace, and from her words, you have to wonder or not whether she's suspected Grace is interested in Luke, and would therefore be game to the groping.

In AP Chem, Lishack reminds the class that science fair applications are due at the end of the day, but she's clearly addressing Luke, who hasn't submitted his. Grace comes in late and Lishack asks why she bothered. Um, to see Luke, maybe? Anyway, Grace confronts Joan with the news that she asked Steve Ramsey, an old friend of Rove's, to the dance. They make a big deal out of it until the bell rings, and Grace is really slow to get up. In fact, she doesn't even make an effort to. Instead, she sits there playing with a light as the class leaves. Luke puts on his backpack and walks over to Grace. He nervously stumbles over his words and tells Grace "I was wondering if you-- how you were feeling about the--."

Grace jumps up, thinking Luke's talking about the Crystal Ball. "What's with these sanctioned mating rituals that make everyone drool over each other like zombies?" Luke's eyes bug out of his head and his mouth falls open as he realizes what Grace thinks. He corrects her quickly, and Grace gives him a look. It's a strange look, possibly a cross between hurt and relief. I'm not sure what to make of it. Grace says she already told Luke she'd do the science fair with him, and asks why he's getting all sweaty. She doesn't see what the big deal is and tells him she won't be much help. Reaching toward him, she takes the pencil from behind his ear and signs the application. As long as she doesn't have to wear a dress, she's game. As if he's looking for something to submit to one of those Trauma-Rama sections of some teen magazine, Luke says, "Yeah... me too." Grace gives him a strange look and Luke gets all flustered, "No, not that I would ever wear a dress, but..." Grace sticks the pencil back behind his hair, whispering an "It's okay, man," as she leaves the classroom, leaving a very flustered Luke behind.

So I'm going to stop in my recap to analyze the hell out of this scene. In "Bringeth It On," Grace made it very clear Luke should ask again when it's closer to the Science Fair. However, now she's acting as if she agreed to it up front, and doesn't understand why he's even asking again. It seems like she's been planning on doing this science fair with Luke all along.

Grace and Luke meet in what looks to be the cafeteria turned science fair room to discuss their project. Luke makes a solar system model of an atom with a sugar cookie and Grace's grapes. He tells her Heisenberg says this is crap, because you can't know where a nucleus is with any certainty since by looking for it, you change it. By observing something, you're changing it. Matter's just meer clouds of possibility. During this, he's been eating her grapes and she yells at him for it. As he continues to talk, she's watching as he eats her grapes and notices a drawing. She picks it up. "What's this?" Luke tells her it's a rail gun, and Grace tells him they should do that.

At this point, Friedman comes over and taunts them about the science fair and pimps his website. Turning to Grace, he says, "Guess we won't be seeing you at the dance tomorrow night?" Grace, unwilling to let Friedman win, responds, "Says who?" Friedman says it's based on the unlikely hypothesis of seeing Grace in a dress. Grace is all 'caught up in the testosterone,' and tells Friedman that his assumptions suck and they'll see him there. "Now beat it before I give you a wedgie." Friedman says she can't give him a wedgie, but when she stands up he takes off.

Luke, who was quiet through this whole things, looks up at Grace and asks her if they're going to the dance together. Grace looks a bit shocked, saiys, "Must've gotten caught up in the testosterone," and takes off. Luke, with a silly little smile on his face, says to no one in particular, "Cool."

At the Crystal Ball, Luke's sitting alone at a table as one of those sucky, overplayed Bare Naked Ladies songs plays. Because, you know, God forbid they use anything original at a dance. Since Luke's alone, they give just enough time for the viewer to wonder if Grace stood him up, before you can see Grace in the background, approaching Luke. She's wearing the leather jacket, but has a hot pink dress on underneath. It's not ugly, and it fits her nice, but it isn't something I'd be caught dead in. It's not really something off a department store sales rack, but it's pretty close. Although I guess this is pretty accurate for what a high school girl who doesn't particularly care about how she looks would wear. And her makeup... it's kind of reminiscent of one of those girls in junior high who wants to wear makeup but hasn't learned how yet. The lipstick's too dark and way too pink, although the eye makeup's okay, I guess. The one redeeming quality's the hair, I think. Although it's not styled wall, it's got this slightly funky, air-dried look, and instead of its normal greasy look, it's a buttery blonde.

Now moving onto the non-shallow part- Grace walks over, tells Luke the music sucks, and cements herself as my favorite character with that line. Luke's surprised she showed and jumps up. "Hey... wow." Grace kind of nods and looks a teensy bit pleased before saying "Yeah... don't talk about it." They look out at the dance floor where Friedman and Glynis are... I wouldn't even call it dancing. Okay, Friedman and Glynis are 'dancing,' and Grace asks Luke if he knows where his sister is. He doesn't know, and asks if she wants to take off her coat. Grace gives him a disbelieving look. "Cool it, horn dog, I'm not there yet." Heh. I really love Grace in this episode.

I could've called this. As I pointed out, the thing Friedman and Glynis are doing? Is so not dancing. Because now he's spun her out of control and she oh so conveniently ends up in Luke's arms. Luke catches her with a puzzled look, and she smiles up at him. She's in his arms just long enough for us all to be screaming, "Get her away! Get her away! Dropkick her, Grace," and for Grace to be thinking it. In fact, Grace has this really weird look on her face. I wouldn't call it jealousy (at least not yet) but it's pretty damn close. It's a bit possessive though, and after Friedman comes over and grabs Glynis, Grace watches them in disgust. Luke glances at Grace. "Do you sometimes wonder if high school will ever come to an end?" Grace looks very disillusioned and nods.

The next we see Luke, he's sitting alone again. Friedman comes over and leans against the table. "So, Polk looks pretty hot under all that Feminazi garb, who knew?" Uh, Friedman, go away. Glynis is standing off in the background. Luke looks pissed. "Did you just say Feminazi?" Friedman tells Luke to "be straight" with him- are Luke and Grace exchanging fluids? We wish. Luke still looks upset and asks "Why am I friends with you?" I've been wondering that since the conversation that spawned the moose/elk discussion with Kevin. Ugh. Friedman's still feeling betrayed about being abandoned for the science fair, and he asks, "Why else would you commit science fair suicide?" Um, possibly because he couldn't stand working with you? Luke misquotes Einstein, finally showing he's not perfect, although I do think it's just a writer's error. The correct quote is "The search for truth is more important than its possession" but Luke says 'possessions.' Minor error, but worth noting coming from an infalliable science genius who will probably write his college essays on how Heisenberg or Einstein greatly affected his life. Friedman tells Luke to "invest in Birkenstocks now, because you're doomed to a life of lesbian worship." Because all lesbians wear Birkenstocks, and everyone wearing Birkenstocks is a lesbian. Oookay...

Grace, coming back with drinks, overhears this, and covers her hurt by walking up to Luke, who has started to stand up, and pulling him into a long kiss. You want a time? From the time she pulls him to her to the time she pulls away is nearly eight seconds. She runs her hand from his cheek to his shoulder and pulls off his suit jacket. Then she pulls away, strips off her jacket, hands it to him, and pulls on his shirt, leading him out to the dance floor. Luke, a bit dazed, hands off the jacket to Friedman, who smiles at Glynis. "Did he just convert her from Mac to PC?" Heh. Oh, and by the way, Glynis is destroyed. I just can't bring myself to care.

Now, by the way, more sucky music is playing, and we see Luke and Grace dancing. It's a fast song, which I wish it weren't, but they're okay dancers. Friedman and Glynis go by, and I exit out of Media Player. No, seriously.

Jump

It's a Sunday morning, and the Girardi kids are sitting around the table. Luke tells his family that Grace is coming over to work on their science fair project and they need to knuckle down, so if his family could "keep it down..." Kevin, smirking: "Then you can make out with her?" Okay, we aren't sure if Joan or Helen saw the kiss, and Kevin definitely wasn't there, so it's interesting that he knows. Either the Friedman spread word, or Luke told Kevin. I like the second option better. Luke brushes it off, though, telling Kevin that "Grace kissed [him] once as a political statement" and that he "doesn't expect it to happen again." Kevin's still smiling, though, and Luke doesn't look like he's not up for it happening again.

Luke's sitting at him computer when Grace walks into his room. Grace doesn't seem very happy that their project's a computer generated model. Luke promised her they'd build something, and not a virtual, theoretical, cyber-model. To Luke, that's "a meaningless distinction." Grace walks over to his bed and flops back on it so she's laying down. For the first time being in his room, she's mighty comfortable. Luke look over at her. "Look, I've-- I've really enjoyed our-- our collaboration. I -- I feel our intellects and approaches really complement each other and I was, you know, hoping you felt the same way." As Luke's talking, Grace covers her face with her hands, frustrated. But after he's finished, Grace half sits up and says in this taunting, husky voice, "Stop, stop! You're embarassing me with your dirty talk." Heh. Luke looks away and purses his lips, unsure how to respond. He turns back to his computer.

The next scene has one of those oversharing moments. The Girardi home in searched by the FBI and Luke's computer's taken away. Luke tells the FBI that "any naked ladies" are because of his friend Friedman. Without that PC, he has no science fair project.s

Kevin and Luke are out in the garage/shed/room with the boat talking when Grace and Adam enter. Kevin's in the middle of asking Luke when does he actually absorb information, because it always seems like he's spouting it out. Heh. Grace remarks as she comes through the door, "His ears and eyes work on a separate circuit from his mouth." I love that she answers for him. She got his message, but doesn't understand why they should just give up instead of turning to Plan B. Luke wants to know what 'Plan B' is, and Grace tells him it's the "cannon thing" he told her about. Luke asks if she could "possibly, by any stretch of the imagination," be talking about the rail gun. Kevin tells him to stop talking like the Queen of England. It's a theoretical construct that no one's actually perfected yet, Luke adds. They're mini-scene is ended by an overly angry Adam who knocks Kevin out of his wheelchair trying to escape Joan.

At the school, Luke's looking at Friedman and Glynis' project, and tells Friedman he isn't spying, and that he's not even in the science fair anymore. He explains the FBI took away his project, and Glynis is all, "I always knew you had what it takes to contravene national security." Neither of them had heard about the mayor being arrested or the city council being dissolved, and Luke's not at all impressed. Friedman's suddenly all concerned about the FBI examining Luke's hard drive, because it has proof of his 'latex fetish.' Sorry, but if I had to learn that, so did you. Glynis nauseatingly tells Luke he can become their third partner for 'final tweaks,' but he stays loyal to Grace and tells them Grace wants to build something. Glynis is disgusted and doesn't believe it's possible. "Overnight?" Hon, you don't stand a chance, so get over it. Compared to Grace, you're a... okay, sorry. I'll keep it PG.

Luke's at the hospital to see Kevin, who took a spill playing basketball. Anyway, Luke's discussing his next step with Kevin. He's got two choices: to work with Grace and make a stupid rail gun that probably won't work or salvage his dignity and work with Friedman. Kevin: "No contest." All Luke sees is contest. Kevin tells him to get over his fear of women or "resign yourself to looking at boobs on the internet for the rest of your life." Luke responds that not everything is about sex. Kevin replies that not everything is about science. Luke: "This is a new arena for me."

The next scene has Grace back at the Giradis, thanking Luke for leaving a message with her father, the rabbi, saying he wanted to spend the night with Grace building a gun. Heh. And the Rabbi let her out? Luke says that if they work through the night there's a chance they can build a functional rail gun in time for tomorrow's science fair. If they're insanely lucky, it will move a steel object two inches. Grace wants to know what kind of steel object. Luke walks across the room to unveil a motor. Grace is very impressed, showing there's no way to a girl's heart like a motor. (Kidding). Luke reminds her that the most likely outcome is that they'll fail and look like idiots to the entire scientific community, as the term applies to Arcadia High. Grace approaches Luke until she's stand thisclose to him and says flirtatiously "So, what you're telling me, Dawg, is that there's no downside." She walks away and takes off her coat, leaving a dazed but smiley Luke to ponder this.

Somehow they managed to finish it, and the next morning, all that needs to be done is connect the cables to the wiring. Luke's all shaky and tells Grace that "if these two leads touch, this entire circuit could blow." Grace, ever the face of coolness and collectivity, takes the cables from him and connects them. Luke: "Steady hands, good." Grace asks if it's done, and Luke looks down at her. There's major sexual tension as he tells her it is done. Grace gulps and looks up at him and asks if they're going to test it. According to Luke's calculations, the wiring won't take more than one burst, so... He trails off as he looks at her. Grace is looking back at him and you can tell she's waiting for him to kiss her. And I'm throwing socks at my TV. (Don't ask; it's something I do pretty often). Instead, he asks her if she remembers when she kissed him at the dance. Grace sighs and the moment's broken. "Forget it," she says, and walks away. Luke's still smiling, though, and remarks, "can't unring a bell, baby." Is that a reference to Tom Waits? Because frankly, I'd be surprised if Luke knew who he was. I suppose it could be a reference to Pavlov, but it seems a bit reaching. Huh. Either way, it's adorable.

We next see Luke and Grace setting up the rail gun at the science fair. There's people watching as Luke hands Grace the controller. Heh. She's always had power in that relationship. Anyway, Grace flicks it... and nothing happens. The Friedman and the Ostrich... Glynis, I mean, look awfully smug. Suddenly, the lights flicker and the dial spikes. Everyone's stunned until Luke suddenly realizes what's happening and yells, "Get down," half pulling Grace down with him. The engine almost hits Glynis as it plunges through her project, but Lishack [unfortunately] pushes her out of the way in time. The engine knocks over a dinosaur, which hits a lever that releases a box of feathers. Once the damage is done, Luke and Grace come back up from behind the table, surveying the damage. Grace starts to laugh, as does Luke. Even in this scene, they're standing awfully close. Now, for some reason, TPTB decided to make this an Adam/Joan moment, even though it's clearly centered around Luke and Grace. Don't ask me. Even my dad found it weird.

Recreation

Grace's first scene of this episode had me wondering if all the original writers had been fired at first. She seemed so horribly out of character. Here's the deal. Joan and Adam are standing by a locker when Grace comes by, all excited about some assembly Helen's put together. The purpose? To dissuade Arcadia High students from doing drugs. This is the kind of thing I'd think Price would have to drag Grace to kicking and screaming, and even then she'd sit sullenly in the back row, arms crossed over her chest. No. She sneaks in late, but into a fairly up-front row. Happily. Huh? Oooooh. That's why. Luke's working the projector. As the doctor starts talking about "ro-mantic love," we get a shot of Luke working the projector. His gaze drifts off to his left, in Grace's general area. She's tugged a strand of hair in front of her face and refuses to make eye contact with anyone.

Grace is sitting on the stair railing waiting for Joan, reading a book that looks suspiciously like a thinner version of those orange AMSCO global history books, if any of you followed the Honors Curriculum for History in high school in the last few years. Anyway, she's advice Joan to deal with her problems with Adam, since Joan kissed him. There's this old Latin quote from Catullus that goes "suis cuique attributus est error, sed non videmus manticae quod in tergo est." (Catullus 22, lines 20-21). It means "Everyone has his own delusion assigned to him, but we do not see that part of the bag on our back." In other words, it's the pot calling the kettle black.

Joan, following God's advice, decides to have a party while her parents are out of town. She cons Luke into helping plan it. Luke's very hesitant at first, but after Joan has that people of the other sex "like Grace Polk" can come, Luke quickly gives in.

At school Grace asks Luke and Joan about the party, and whether or not she's invited. Luke quickly assures her, "Of course." Grace, as if realizing what she's said, remarks that she hates parties. Luke states it's "a different kind of party." Apparently, Luke told Friedman and Friedman told Glynis, so they've appointed themselves in charge, the little nitwits. Since when does knowing of a party's existence even mean you're invited, let alone in charge? They've got 75 people and 20 seniors confirmed. Luke seems a little uncomfortable around Glynis.

Later, the party's in full swing when Joan tells Luke that Grace is there. Luke and Joan quickly make their way to the door, and Joan volunteers Luke to take their coats. Luke feels used, but takes Grace's coat without hesitation. Grace is disturbed by the party. She remarks that it's like "a druid solstice ritual without the viscera." Heh. Luke tells her to stick around; the night is young. Grace excuses herself, saying she needs salt. Luke follows her away from Adam and Joan. Of course, Glynis is watching because she's a freaking stalker!!!

Later, Luke's trying to keep people away from the "people food" in the fridge, directing them instead to the chips in the living room. Glynis oh-so-conveniently shows up (stalker, I tell you, stalker!) and tells Luke to order a pizza and everyone will calm down. Luke asks if it really works, and Glynis tells him it somehow soothes the "savage breast." Breast... beast. It took me a minute, but wow. I can totally see a guy making that blunder, as he talks to a girl's breasts. In fact, I do believe that's happened to me. But for a girl to? Anyway, Glynis looks mortified and Luke doesn't even look at her breasts. Once again, the average guy? Would take a comment like that as permission to stare at them.

The phone rings and Luke turns to Grace for help. It's interesting that he searches for Grace instead of just getting the phone himself or asking Glynis to. It's almost like he's trying to point her out to Glynis. You know, like when some guy's hitting on you and you oh so casually find a way to mention your boyfriend in the conversation? Yeah. Anyway, he asks Grace if she can help, and she responds "Apparently not." She's playing cards, but I'm pretty sure it was just a way to get Luke away from Glynis, as he had to answer the phone.

You know a party sucks when old photo albums are brought out. Luke, Friedman, and Glynis are sitting on the couch as the two with no redeeming qualities pour over baby pictures of Luke. Luke looks upset, but Grace, who's standing over Luke's shoulder, is laughing. After looking at a Halloween picture from when Luke was three, Luke reaches out to close the photo album. Grace reaches over him and slaps his hands away, and he gives in. He can't say no to Grace yet. And, uh, I have to point out that Michael Welch's hands? Are huge in this shot due to the camera angle. Out of proportionately so.

After receiving a noise complaint, the police break up the party. Luke is lying on the couch with what appears to be a facecloth over his eyes. I'm thinking migraine or headache, because that's one of the first things my nanny would have me do. Grace is standing behind him with a cup in her hand, studying him. It's an interesting little scene, because it's one of the only times we've seen both of them with their guard completely down. But it's a blink-and-you-miss-it clip, so it occurs at 40 minutes and 32 seconds into the episode, for those of you who have commercial-less versions.

State of Grace

We open with the subdefectives standing in front of a metal detector. Grace walks through and sets it off. She walks back over in a huff, raises her shirt, and takes her belly button ring out. Luke watches in shock, but he's a bit turned on. Unfortunately, you can tell because he has the same expression as Friedman and Friedman's always turned on. Grace hands the ring to Mr. Price, walks through the metal detector, and turns back to the group, shooting them a look. "What?"

In AP Chem, Friedman asks Grace if getting her navel pierced hurt. For those of you who want a straight answer to this, it hurts like hell, and I have an incredibly high pain tolerance. Only do it if you're serious about it. I get the feeling he's been talking about it for a while because of Grace's tone when she tells him to stop. Friedman remarks that some people find pain erotic. Joan's disgusted and tells Friedman he's foul, and he remarks that eroticism is a part of life. Glynis opens her mouth, and I really wish she wouldn't. She makes a comment about how odd things can arouse powerful feelings, but I can't give you an exact quote because I blocked it out. Luke looks over at her, and to his credit, he's probably more uncomfortable than she is. Grace glances at Glynis, amused by her interest. I'm choosing to think it's because Grace is convinced nothing could happen there, and she's that sure in Luke's interest in her. Grace informs Joan she's sneaking off campus for lunch and asks if anyone wants to join her. Um, how about Luke? Maybe that would've prevented the craptastic plot that ensues.

The next we see Luke, we learn why people get so confused with analogies on the SATs. The ones they've heard before make no sense. It starts off nicely enough. Friedman tells Luke he has to forget about Grace. Luke says he "gets these feelings" and that he knows it's "biological reaction" but... Friedman says they aren't talking about Biology, but Psychology. And this is where it all goes downhill. He tells Luke he's always throwing himself against the one gate that's locked, because he's afraid of going through the gate and enjoying the pleasures... Glynis' gate is open. Luke tells Friedman he can't "just transfer [his] feelings from one person to another." Luke tells Friedman he can take care of his own love life. Friedman remarks that he can "in the shower." Well, that's so much more preferable than this. Glynis walks by and Luke waves. Ugh.

So what do I find so wrong with this? Where should I start? How about with the fact that comparing your love life to a locked v. unlocked gate makes no sense. That's like saying you should sleep with the school slut, just because he/she would put out. The fact that you have no interest in this person or that God only knows where they've been... it just doesn't matter. Oh, yes, that's perfect logic. Plus, if you push hard enough, if you try enough approaches to pick the lock of that gate that's locked... it's going to open. And why, after months of trying, would you just abandon it? God, I'm talking about gates the way Luke talks about moose.

I wish the episode had ended here. But, no. Instead we have Luke and Friedman walking through school when they see Glynis sitting on the stairs Friedman tells Luke to go, but Luke says he has doubts. Friedman remarks that his doubts have no validity, since he was 'wrong' about Grace. Whoa, wait. Hold please. Did Grace come out and reject Luke? Did she tell him he was wrong? So how the hell does Friedman know whether Luke was right or wrong? In case you didn't catch this, I'm just putting off the inevitable. Luke approaches Glynis, tells her he just wanted to wish her luck on the debate. She says thanks and that it's awkward she's opposing Joan. Uh, hon? That would only be awkward if there were any relationship between you and her brother. Which there's not.

What ensues is the most awful, horribly written, overacted scene ever. Glynis asks Luke if he's okay, because his breathing's rapid and shallow. Yeah, I definitely didn't notice that. Lots of creepy eye contact. Luke tells her she must be "the best health teacher at the Y." Well, that's one hellishly romantic thing to say. Glynis makes some icky comment about having a "grasp of all the information" to teach, and Luke remarks that her breathing's also increasing. "It has to do with restricted capillaries and increased blood flow... you know." Now they're talking about the hypothalamus, but I'm not even going to get into the details. Let me just say that the hypothalamus also regulates salt cravings, sleep cycles, and bladder function. Not the most romantic part of the body, and that's what I'm going to think about. Anyway, Luke read the study and they share a lot of the same interests. Glynis says that if her heart rate continues to increase, she might get lightheaded (um, hon? A good kiss is supposed to do that for you). I kind of wish she would've fainted. Anyway, they kiss. It's this completely awkward, pecking kiss, that will forever cement my vision of Glynis as an ostrich. She looks like a bird. Anyway, she flees, pausing to look at him. I can't even decide what she reminds me of, but it's not human. An anteater, maybe. Luke watches her leave, and turns around. Let me point that after his kiss with Grace in "The Uncertainty Principle," it took him a few seconds to snap out of his gaze. Not so in this case. Anyway, he turns around and sees Grace standing outside a doorway. She offers him this small smile, that I think seems kind of sad, and does this half wink/slow blink thing, before ducking into the classroom. Luke's visibly upset as he heads off down the hall.

Then there's the debate where Grace bitches at Joan. I'm choosing to interpret this as a way for her to vent her hurt and anger about the Luke/Glynis kiss, since Glynis is also on the stage.

Night Without Stars

In AP Chem, Lishack's going on and on about molecules bumping into each other, heating up, etc. She asks Luke what happens when they can't stand it anymore. In this scene, I've got my twin sitting next to me, who rolls her eyes and replies 'orgasm.' Only Luke can't even come up with that kind of answer. He can't answer at all, in fact. Friedman's stunned, and so is Grace. "The smarter they are, the harder they fall," she says. It doesn't even come off as insulting; it's almost a stunned pity.

After class, Friedman, Luke, and Glynis leave the classroom just ahead of Joan, Grace, and Adam. Glynis is blaming herself for Luke's inability to answer, since she coughed before Lishack asked the question; she shoudl've been able to stop it. She won't shut her goddamn ostrich mouth, and Luke explodes. He didn't hear her "stupid cough" and just wants her to leave him alone. She runs off crying, and Grace remarks, "Stepping on the bunny, Girardi," which doesn't really makes sense to me. First of all, Luke likes bunnies, as evidenced in "Bringeth It On." The only thing Glynis has in common with that stuffed bunny is the squeak factor. But Grace has to find a way to comment, so Luke doesn't forget her, right? Not that he ever could.

So, Luke's in the kitchen with Kevin and Helen, and Kevin's telling him that if he wants any pointers on relationships, he can ask. Luke's response? "I have an extremely satisfying relationship with someone, both intellectually as well as physically." Let me point out Luke has never had a relationship before, so 'extremely' satisfying... what the hell does he have to compare it to? His right hand. And that would go further than Glynis. But that's beside the point. Helen's stunned, whatever. I don't care about her reaction. I want to know what Grace would've thought if she'd heard that.

Double Dutch

Grace and Joan are walking back from the library. Joan's complaining about Adam and Iris and mentions Luke and Glynis in passing. Grace's face basically falls and she looks extremely uncomfortable. There's a parallel between Adam and Iris and Luke and Glynis that a blind five year old could see, so as Grace remarks that Adam and Iris "won't last," I'm wondering whether she's really talking about them or Luke and Glynis. Because both Adam and Luke? Are desperately in love with someone other than their girlfriends.

Grace is walking down the hallway at school when Luke and Glynis walk by, all smiley and kissing. Grace, who easily could've taken one step to her right and walked by them, instead walks right in front of them and barely misses slamming into Glynis' shoulder. Angry much?

The next night, Will and Luke are talking and Will asks Luke if he really likes Glynis. Luke kind of laughs, looks down, and then says yeah. There's a bit of hesitation there that gave me hope when I first saw this. To me the 'yeah,' was of the "I like her enough to pass time by as I wait for the girl I like more."

Requiem for a Third Grade Ashtray

Grace, Joan, Adam and Iris are shopping as they stress over upcoming tests. Grace casually mentions they shouldn't stress over the chem test, as she has Luke's lab notebook, telling Grace she still has "pull." Grace gets a call on her cell and wanders off to the back of the store to talk. We don't hear from her until we really hear from her, when she starts screaming at whoever is at the other end. I'm going to believe that at least part of that anger has to do with seeing Luke and Glynis hooking up.

So this pull... Apparently Luke didn't remember lending it to her. I can't decide whether I find it more endearing to think she stole it or that Luke really did just forget. Huh. I wish Luke were the journal type, though, because I can't picture anything particularly interesting for Grace to read in a Chem notebook.

Just a side note: When Joan tells Grace that Luke has the flu, Grace looks mildly worried about him.

Do The Math

When Luke refuses to help Joan figure out who Richard is and locate him, Joan tells Luke she'll tell their mother that he and Glynis are "knocking boots." Luke quickly responds, that "that would be spurious, manipulative fiction." Well, at least we've got reassurance on that, not that I ever doubted it. Not even TPTB would scar our minds to that degree.

Anonymous

As Joan vents about not being sure why Adam likes her, Grace says, "Oh, see, this is why I'm not getting sucked into the whole dating ritual. You got what you wanted, and you're more of a mess than you were before." This is just further proof that it isn't that she's not interested in Luke, but that she isn't interested in relationships at this point. It will take one hell of a guy to convince her not all relationships are bad. Any ideas???

As Grace noticed Luke and Glynis at his locker, she remarks, "Luke and the ostrich seem pretty happy though." She watches them, a bit upset by the sight and remarks she didn't think "they'd last" this long. Joan asks if she cares. A shocked Grace says, "Have I ever?" and makes her getaway. My question's this. Is Grace shocked that Joan asked that, or because she realized she does?

So, this 'physically satisfying' relationship of Luke's? Isn't nearly as perfect as it seems. As Friedman tells Luke about his made up girlfriend from a Catholic school, Luke's entranced by visions of pleated skirts and unhooking bras.

Luke and Glynis have a date in the park, but Luke would rather play House of the Dead at the arcade. Glynis gets all chilly and says "Fine," but she isn't happy. Luke gives in and says he'll go to the park. They walk away together, neither looking particularly happy.

At the arcade, Luke complains about Glynis to Friedman. Friedman acts if there's trouble in paradise. Luke says no, it's just that something he feels pressure like "someone puts a pillow over your face and you can't breathe." Just sometimes, though...

Vanity, Thy Name is Human

As Luke and Joan walk to school, Luke tells Joan that he forgot to call Glynis until late the previous night, and he got 'the wall of silence... sniffles, even.' Girl, calm down. The boy has a life outside of you. You know, like Grace. He complains that he's unable to relax in the relationship.

In AP Chem, Luke tells Glynis there has to be a balance between her and M-Brane theory, to which she does not respond kindly. When Lishack asks who's interested in a cosmetics class, Glynis raises her hand, giving Luke a look.

After Joan and Glynis have been all made up, they're in the school bathroom primping. Glynis tells Joan she's worried about her relationship with Luke because she can't compete with M-Brane theory, his true love. The only compliment he's ever given her is that her "dermis was pleasantly exothermic." She's afraid Luke only loves her for her mind. First of all, when did Luke tell Glynis he loves her? I'm never going to understand girls who assume that their boyfriend loves them since he dates them and kisses them. Not until you've heard the words, or seen them displayed, do you know. Plus, his first love is not M-Brane theory. It's Grace.

Grace and Joan are sitting on the stairs when Luke and Glynis approach. Grace and Luke catch each other's gaze, and neither looks particularly happy. Joan goes on another rant before getting up and leaving, pushing her way between Luke and Glynis. Grace follows her, also pushing between them. Well, we all know she's what came between them anyway.

Luke breaks up with Glynis, basically saying she's changed since she got made over. They're relationship was based on their intellectual similarities, and that's not enough anymore. He wants her to be happy, and needs to get out of her way. Glynis is mature throughout the breakup, but takes off in tears.

The Gift

In P.E., the kids are doing something oddly like the walk/jog, and therefore I hate it just watching. Joan and Grace are running a good distance in front of Luke and Glynis, who aren't getting along well at all. Glynis is nagging Luke, asking what she did wrong. Luke tells her there's equations where no definitive solution exists. He and Glynis are "such an equation." Glynis calls Luke a "cold and heartless determinist." At his first chance, Luke runs to catch up with Grace and Joan. He tells them that Glynis is too intense; he wants to switch study groups. Grace remarks that she's starting to understand women who live with cats. Joan doesn't want to see more of Luke, but when Grace makes sure they'll get his lab notes, she overrules Joan. He's in. Joan shoos him away, but it's already been decided. Interesting how quickly Grace agreed to hang out with her friend's little brother, huh?

In school, Luke and Helen are walking down the hallway, toward Helen's classroom. Helen's trying to be nice, but Luke blows up when she won't leave him alone. He apologizes, telling her he has a lot going on with finals and keeping his GPA up. Let me point out I have a 4.0 and I never flipped out on my mother like that. Helen calls him on it, saying he can deal with finals- is it Glynis? Luke quickly but not too quickly answers no. Helen says he's been a "jumble of feelings" lately, and they're feelings he doesn't want to look at. Luke says "feelings are ephemeral... and as such, cannot be reliable scientific determinents." Helen points out that they affect behavior, which affects perceptions, which, "as Heisenberg taught us, affects reality." Luke's surprised she listens to him. He opens up to her, telling her that he and Glynis made sense and he feels guilty and sad and angry. Helen remarks that relationships that work don't always make sense. Interesting. She's implying his relationship with Glynis wouldn't have worked anyway. And he and Grace... don't make any sense, at least not at first glance. According to Luke, that's great, but what's he supposed to do with all these feelings that he knows will just make him look like a fool? He needs a logical explanation for "why, against all reason, I bought this-" He pulls out a geode and shows it to his mom. Helen's like, "It's beautiful. For Glynis?" He gives her this look, this 'Now that I would understand' look, and says, "For Grace." He takes off.

Now I'll go into the observation so many people have made, about how a geode's the perfect gift for Grace. For those of you who aren't familiar with what a geode is, it's basically a hollow rock, with crystals lining the inside wall. You can see pictures of the one Luke bought in the gallery. But it's rough on the outside, yet beautiful on the inside. Grace has a rough exterior, but with all her talk, her leather jacket, and her 'anti' status, she's still beautiful on the inside. She writes gorgeous poetry, is a wonderful friend, and very smart. There's plenty we haven't learned about her yet, either.

And there's a scene where Luke and Grace talk! Together! They're walking to Luke's locker, and Grace is telling him that the whole 'gift giving thing' is a ploy to keep the capitalist machine oiled. Luke awkwardly says "I don't know," and it's pretty clear he doesn't agree with her. Grace is surprised. She assumes he got Glynis something, and they were together "what, three weeks?"

Time out. I'm so confused by these references. Luke and Glynis kissed in 1x14, got together sometime around 1x15, and didn't break up until 1x21. I thought each episode spanned about a week, to keep it in 'real time?' So that makes it six or seven weeks, minimum. And it felt like a hell of a lot longer. Maybe I was wrong about the way they do things, or maybe it's just Grace trying to act casual, act as if she has no idea how long Luke and Glynis were actually together.

But anyway, Luke tells Grace he thought about getting Glynis a gift, Richard Feynman's "Lectures on Physics," but it just seemed so... "Lame?" Grace helpfully puts in. Luke answers in the affirmative. So wait. He never got his girlfriend a gift, but a week (or maybe less) after he broke up with her, he's bought Grace a gift? To me, this is just more proof he was never "about Glynis," as Joan earlier put, but always liked Grace.

Luke and Grace walk toward the library, Grace thoroughly amused by Luke's ramblings about how a gift should just "happen." He trails off when it gets to awkward, ducking into the library. Grace follows him and tells him he was "getting all poetic" there. Luke asks if she's ever walked by something and just had "this feeling that someone you knew would absolutely love it?" Well, Luke, in order for that to happen, I'm pretty damn sure the person's got to be on your mind, unless it's some truly weird, private joke kind of gift. Grace is shocked. "Are you interested in somebody else already?" Luke gets flustered and backs off quickly, telling her it's just a theoretical conversation. Grace realizes there is somebody, and remarks that guys should be sprayed down with cold water every hour. Luke tries to change the topic, and Adam and Joan come up. Bah blah blah. Eventually Luke pulls out the geode; there isn't much of a precursor to this. He holds it out for Grace and she looks at it suspiciously than up at him. She takes it hesitantly and studies it, but the awkwardness of the situation's too much for her to deal with. She tells him "this is weird" and he tells her he knows but he doesn't care without making eye contact. For someone so uncomfortable with the idea of a relationship, she's awfully smiley through all of this. An awkward silence ensues, but Grace guides them back to schoolwork.

Silence

Lauren Hart's "One Last Time" is playing as Grace and Luke walk home from the hospital. Grace tells Luke he didn't have to walk her; he could've gone home with Kevin. "It seemed ungentelmanly." Grace relies on grammar correction, telling him that's not a word. Luke remarks he likes walking... "although this is a lot of walking." Walking's how Grace does her thinking. Luke tells her that that's why she's so smart. Grace takes offense to that, saying she's not smart. Luke backpedals, saying he meant intelligent; "they're not he same." Grace likes the quiet when she walks. Luke seems nervous as he tells her she's probably missing that right now. But for some reason, he's unable to shut his mouth. Instead, he starts rambling on about stars, even after Grace tells him not to.

Suddenly Grace turns around; something's been on her mind. "Why did you give me that rock?" Talk about a sudden outburst. Luke pauses and tells her it's a geode. To Grace it's a rock. Luke tells her it was a gesture of friendship, "possibly courtship." This throws Grace, so once again she resorts to insulting his choice of words, saying it "went out." Luke says he doesn't follow trends, but not in some self-absorbed, cocky way. Grace asks if he broke up with Glynis because of her, which we all know was at least part of the reason. He shrugs it off. "Of course not; don't be ridiculous." Grace responds "that would be ridiculous. So lets not go there." She starts to walk away, and only stops when Luke asks why that would be ridiculous

Grace turns around, and each point she makes Luke shoots down. "I'm friends with your sister." Right. "I'm older than you." A year- eight months, actually. "I have a repuation. I've worked hard to build it. Do you know what my reputation is?" As she speaks she's coming nearer to him. "That you hate me?" Luke half-jokes/half-asks. "I'm anti." Okay. Anti-what?" Grace holds out her arms. "What have you got?" So you're never going to fall in love? Oh, Luke, if you only knew... "I'm never even gonna fall in like." And she's not going to be courted by some "rocket-head geek." If people at school found out he was giving her things... She's getting all worked up, and Luke interrupts. What does she care what people think, if she's so anti. Shouldn't she like the idea of them together? She's not that anti. Luke calls her on this. "Oh, so you're moderately anti?" And then Luke uses the word love. I swear he won this argument right here. Because really, I think all Grace needs is someone to love her for her, someone to love her who doens't have to. She continues to try to argue, but half-heartedly. After he's done, she loudly tells him "Look, I am not into you, got it?" Luke: "Yeah." Serious eye contact ensues. Grace's eyes dart back and forth as she 'contemplates' her next move. But hte path's already been set in motion. She initiates a kiss, which is a pretty bold thing for someone 'not into' Luke to do. Before she's even reached him, though, his arms are already coming out to wrap around her. The timing's perfect, and if the kiss had been initiated a fraction of a second later, then it would've been impossible to decide who initiated it. But that's not important. Because after a season of dancing around each other, of going through other gates, of 'not going there,' they have. The kiss is passionate yet sweet, rushed yet drawn out, desperate yet relaxed. It's perfect.

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